Brian Wells

You are my favorite fellow Capricorn. The universe would be diminished had you not got borned.

I hereby declare that JD Vance shall heretofore be known and referred to as the Sofa King!

A woman I met at the mart
Was quite the exuberent tart.
With a wink and a smile
She had me beguiled
And managed to steal my kidney.

#WritingCommunity #Poetry #Limerick

Or a chain saw. That always works for me.

Welcome. I think you'll love it here.

Bah. Get back to me when you're reflected in a MANUAL espresso machine. 😉

Seriously, this is wonderful, clever, and artsy, and it touches my soul in a way I can't even describe. I absolutely love it. Thanks for sharing.

Yep, it sure is! (shaves off goatee to deflect suspicion as to which me is the evil one)

Have you tried taking a half-step?

Sorry, I couldn't resist. In truth, I love this poem. Thank you for sharing.

Luck for me, I've joined the lesions of authors who still use a dictionary.

Average number of exclamation points in my novels: 7

Average number of semicolons in my novels: 2

Average number of em-dashes in my novels: 45,694

Totally same. I feel like I'm holding a book snatched from another universe in which Evil Me managed to get published through nefarious means.

Also, Evil Me in the other universe has a goatee.

Personally, I would query such agencies. Most agents have connections to get genre-crossing books published. If they love your story (and they do have to read and live your story), they'll often refer it to an associate who can represent it more effectively given it's other-genre elements.

Wow, you're really good at this!

As long as you're not using Roman numerals, you're doing fine.

What a bodacious travesty!

(We also don't use the word bodacious enough.)

Nonsense. Ask away. You're making a business proposition, not asking for a favor.

I used to own a coffee shop, and I treasured my writer customers who brought in business with their book signings. If customers showed me a signed & paid-for book, I gave them a 25% discount on a medium drink.

It's more business for them if you can draw a crowd, so it makes sense for them to host book signings.

I learned the hard way in Junior High that S-M-L-XL-XXL for jock straps refers to *waist* size.

That's really awesome. I bet they'd let you do a book-signing event, too.

Writing Tip: it's cliche to say a character dies the death of a thousand cuts. It's better to make it a million.
#WritingCommunity

Also, if you red-circle-slash your sign forbidding rappelling, doesn't that constitute a double-negative, thereby indicating that rappelling IS allowed?

SO MANY LAYERS!

I find it quite repealing.

And repairable. Somehow.

.
#FromMyWIP #WritingCommunity

"You love me."

"Yes."

"Good god, I pointed a loaded gun at you, and you love me. Why?"

Preston let the rock slip from his hand. "Sometimes, madness needs a voice."

Ah, so you ARE a true imposter, then. Good to know. 😉

Seriously, though, thanks for the writerly advice. It's always appreciated.

Another tried-and-true path from book to film is to have characters almost talk about stuff.

While en route to destroy the Anthrican Galactic Empire, a time-traveller loses her luggage containing a doomsday device capable of disrupting timeliness throughout the universe.

What Chase said. I would also like to read about things/ideas that inspire an author.

To editors who might be Googling me: I am not the Brian Wells in Maryland who was recently arrested for assault when he approached a number of people in a park and demonstrated what a "Hertz Donut" is.

Unless you think it would sell more books. Then I'm totally that guy.

Well, there you go, then. Writing need never be anything but exciting and adventurous for you. Well done.

Absolutely marvelous. Thank you.