Friday

One of these is edible, the rest are poisonous. Which would you pick?

On 30 July 1864, Qing forces exhumed, beheaded, and cremated Hong Xiuquan's body. Zeng Guofan (one of the prominent Qing genera) had ordered this done to verify Hong Xiuquan's death. The ashes were blasted out of a cannon to ensure that his remains had no resting place, as an eternal punishment for the uprising.

You ever hate someone so much you posthumously turn them into fireworks?

Hey, guess what?
Mannequin butt.

The hose blinked first.

Thirsty? No. Unhinged in the presence of a hose? Yep.

He sleeps HARD after I take him on a bike ride.

Pop quiz: People are saying the kid says “you’re not the president you need to go away” — do y’all hear it too?

Trans rights are unalienable human rights.

Your skeleton is just a gift that time slowly unwraps.

He had to wear shirts briefly for a medical issue and then yelled at us in protest when he no longer had to wear them.

Visitors that he approves of are gifted the Mean Green Dragon. You must not *take* the Mean Green Dragon, but a good-faith attempt to do so must be made or Approved Visitor status is revoked.

He has a part time job as a dishwasher. It doesn’t pay well, but the perks are decent, he’s a big fan of the head chef.

Despite his potato shape, he insists on being addressed as Speed Itself and will respond to no other names when in the pursuit of a ball.

@stephenking.bsky.social I was told you like corgis. As caretaker to the loud potato that rules my house, I happened to have these lying around.

Shit’s so wrong that even our food knows things are messed up.

Make queers and communists atheist again

NOW: More than 98% of #Costco shareholders have just rejected an anti-DEI measure

The attempt to force Costco to audit their #DEI work was by an anti-inclusion lobby group:

"The proponent's broader agenda is not reducing risk for the Company but abolition of diversity initiatives." - Costco Board

Has anyone else been looking hard at their lamp in the last few days?

Two screenshots from the second Lord of the Rings movie, The Two Towers. Frodo has started to give up hope, and Sam reminds him that there’s always something to fight for. In the top panel, Frodo says “What are we holding onto Sam?” In the bottom panel, at the end of a speech which is not included in these screenshots, Sam answers Frodo’s question by saying, “That there’s good in this world Mr. Frodo. And it’s worth fighting for.”

needed this & I bet you do too

If it feels like a trap, you’re already in one.

New liver, same eagles.

Not allowing yourself to be sad because things could be worse is the same logic as not allowing yourself to be happy because things could be better.

Also known as depression.

Any room can be a panic room if you ask me a question I wasn’t expected and then wait a second.

Wanna start a cult?
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#supportartists #art #newartaccount #digitalartist

If it feels like a trap, you’re already in one.

Here. 🍏

Now throw it harder this time, that rude doctor is feckin back again

Some of you live in

What’s the first thing you can remember eating, ever?

“Once You’re No Good to Them, They Get Rid of You” Immigrant workers are essential to Wisconsin’s dairy industry. But when they get injured, they’re often cast aside.

For being 'essential' immigrant workers sure do get treated like they are disposable.

It’s nice to be married to someone who says, “Well, isn’t this an adventure!” when a neighbor stops by to tell us we may not get power back until Wednesday

My dad believed that some metal songs contained messages from the devil if played backwards.

As a fairly young kid in the late 90’s, I figured out how to reverse an audio track, just to reassure him that he didn’t have to be afraid of music.

All I got for my trouble was grounded. 🤷

My spouse got a smart camera for his remote meetings. He’s also got a nasty cough.

Imagine his surprise when the camera chased him around the room when he got up and moved away to cough off-screen.