Seamus Calder

Survivor 50 better come down to Hands On A Hard Idol

Who the hell has a curtain call in the 6th inning of a playoff game?

Picture not unrelated

Do you ever reminisce about simpler times like when we all just hated Jay Leno and that seemed like the biggest thing?

#teamcoco

Jimmy Kimmel needs to start his first show back by either stating the exact thing that got him canceled or doubling down and going even harder

If he apologizes, we lost.

Donald Trump walks into a town

A young girl appears, and he asks her if there's anything to eat

She offers him a handful of dust

"What am I supposed to do with this?" he asks, puzzled

"Everyone says when you bite the dust, everything will be better."

We're about to learn more about the person who killed Charlie Kirk in a week than we have about the kid who shot at Trump in a year

I wish I was as committed to anything as Regular Show is to making sure you know a random character is dead

PSA: Pumpkin Spice does not contain pumpkin

Apparently this is a thing people didn't know

Has anyone pointed out that Chris Bassitt looks like someone ran the 2011 Phillies starting rotation through a "what would our baby look like?" app?

I took the PragerU "America First" test so you don't have to

The agenda is apparently, and how do I put this lightly... it was written by idiots.

I don't know who this is going to disqualify because it's multiple choice, and if you've been paying attention you know what they want you to say.

Every show has an episode where someone tries to set a world record or updated for the time to go viral on the internet

And here's the kicker, those episodes are always bad

Ska isn't a kid getting extra mozzarella sticks. It's a grown man neglecting his bipolar medication.

I miss the Whopper Dog

I need a loan

At the grocery store I saw a woman wearing a shirt that said

"F**K That Guy!"

And I thought it was funny cause everyone knew who she meant

My favorite part of Fantastic Four was when, after giving Reed a good stretch, Galactus leaned over and kissed him on the bottom

Now that it's back it's important for a new generation to understand The King Of The Hill is like Neon Genesis Evangelion

You do NOT skip the intro

People say it's hard to make friends as a man, but I contend that with my personality I'd find it just as hard to make friends as a woman

There are more photos of Donald Trump with Jeffrey Epstein than there are trans athletes

Quite frankly, this is not Mike Trapp's best work

Pete Alonso really went from looking like the broiest of bros to the math teacheriest of math teachers in a record amount of time

"Hangman" Adam Page is the main character of professional wrestling

Apparently you don't have to take your shoes off at the airport anymore, apparently the technology isn't used to this so if you take your shoes off it says you have metal in your crotch.

So pick your poison: Take your shoes off or get a sleep away camp handy from a very lethargic middle aged man

For anyone worried about the robot/AI takeover I encourage you to get your parents to start using it, should slow it down until it gets into therapy

Say what you will about Temple Of Doom, but no Indy side character is more of the MVP of a movie than Short Round

With everything going on in the world at least I have Giants baseball to leave me utterly bereft of hope and joy

"subverting expectations" or the anti-watercooler mentality of show runners has never worked, just tell the fucking story

I can't say too much but to my former employer who referred to Zohran as "the guy with the name no one can pronounce"

Hahaha hahaha hold on

Hahahahahahahahahahaha

I look forward to the point in the future where historians have to ratify that Wonderwall and All Star were just good songs and not memes