Steve West

It’s Valentine’s Day, so I’m going to spend the day in bed with my wife*

(*thunderstorms outside, and we both have long TBR piles)

There was a joke in the 90s that went “Was your dad even alive when Tottenham last won the league?” and I guess we can now make it “Was your granddad?”

If your Congressman has never heard of Bad Bunny, the most popular musical artist in the world, does he really represent you?

I mean, for someone watching (and believing) this, there’s no reform possible. You can’t just tell them the truth, they’ll say you’re lying to them because they saw it on tv.

You can’t just make Fox News tell the truth. That’s not their business model.

You can’t make people change the channel.

I was watching Fox News the other day (*trapped in a room and couldn’t change the channel), and those who watch it regularly are in a completely different world.

For example, apparently liberals in Minnesota are now beating journalists who are simply doing their jobs.

How do you fix this?

So, how was your weekend?

Me? Not much. Oh, except my Seahawks won the SuperBowl 🏆

(I’m going to be living on this for years, if our last win is any indication)

Salah should get a yellow there for waving his hand to try and get an opponent booked

Commentator on the Arsenal-Chelsea game: Not a great game for us neutrals.
Co-commentator <who played 200 games for Chelsea and spent the entire game basically saying that if Arsenal touched the ball it was a foul> I agree, it wasn’t.

We are the famous Arsenal and we’re going to Wembley!

“I’ve been peeing a lot today, maybe I’m sick,” I think to myself as I make my seventh cup of coffee.

So just to be clear: if the ball bounces off your stomach and onto your arm it’s accidental but definitely a penalty, but if you drag the ball with your arm you can go on and score and VAR will say no problem.

The thing about Chelsea is that not a single one of their players is likable in any way. Do they deliberately use that as a factor when they analyze players?

Dangit, I waited too long and now I can’t make my yearly plan until 2027.

Your 2026 Word says laughable

Oh crap.

The US military: We commit more war crimes by 9am than most people do all day.

Seen it once you’ve seen it a thousand times. VAR spending all their time trying to disallow an Arsenal goal. This time they can’t.

“Acute marshmallow poisoning.”

- the result if they did my autopsy right now

My wife got mad at me last night because I refused to make a hot water bottle for the cat.

“But she’ll be cold.”

Then she can get on the bed with us like the other cat does. Everyone wins.

How dumb are NFL coaches? I mean, they need someone to point out where they should go to shake the other coach’s hand.

Wolves score 3, but Arsenal win 2-1. Much harder than I thought it would ever be.

Turned the tv on this morning and there was a religious show on the channel I’d left it on. I say religious, but in the ten seconds I had it on, the guy literally said “you’re either a giver or a taker” and I don’t think that’s the language Jesus used.

So pleased to see Lando Norris win the F1 title. Gives hope to everyone with a dad worth hundreds of millions.

My wife is currently committing the absolute crime of eating apple pie without any icecream.

I would have flagged offside, but they just showed the fringe of the defender’s shirt played him on. It’s ridiculous that VAR has come to this.

I’ve said it before a thousand times: if you have to watch a bunch of replays and put in lines to check offside, it’s very definitely NOT a clear and obvious error.

Does anyone even make guillotines any more?

NFL QB: <throws ball 55 yards, misses WR by a foot>

NFL Commentator: Wow, he really overthrew that one

Me: <throws trash 1 yard, misses trashcan by a foot> Me too

Me, turning on the game in the ninth: I’m just going to watch the end.

The baseball gods: One inning? You will see A WHOLE GAME

Wow, talk about an unreliable narrator!

I think there’s different kinds of authors. I have a thousand ideas, but not the will to write them. And burnout and distraction are very real.

The author I mentioned said she treats it like a job. Every day she writes regardless of what’s going on. That would be hard for me, but it works for her.