Kyle Kentner

It’s biweekly,
It’s spy weekly,
It’s spider weekly,
It’s spider strongly,
It’s tarantula time

I’m pleased to announce that I’ve been named America’s Favorite Hopscotch Daddio!

Don’t judge a blue by its color.

Its rain is cat’s-end dogs.

My guru says that when you piss in the ocean, you connect to all the electrical charges of all the Earth’s waters via your stream, and all past/present chakras are reborn in your bladder. That’s why “urethra” is an anagram of “ur earth.”

You’re telling me there’s a food called “peen nut butt turd”?

I got damned to Unwealthy Hell for not praying to Billionaire Jesus during my 15-minute break

Oral Rubbers University

I love a man in chloroform

Costco Geyser

didn't mean to flex on you bro i'm just a vessel

People say that I’m “supercaliswaggalicious”

I’ve been diagnosed with ass paralysis.

L.O.L. , W.T.F. ?

I’m going to funge your tokens.

I’m excellent, I’m made of beans, I’m your mother, don’t talk to me

*Cypress Hill voice*

Disdain for the piss stain
(DISDAIN, GOLDEN RAIN)

Original sin was actually highly derivative, and Adam and Eve had to settle out of court to retain their copyright.

I am a laxative for the world

That was a typo, I meant “phat” (with a “ph”)

You can’t have the last laugh until the fat lady sings and the cows come home; that’s the way the cookie crumbles.

it's the big day

When life gives you lemmings

You have selected Microsoft Sam as the computer’s default voice.

Everybody shoves Raymond (when will the bullying cease)

piss a mile in my pants

I’m microdosing squirrel steroids

Green Exit Ham

I just did a speedrun of the Internet; I went from “I can haz cheezburger” to “6 7” in 13.37 seconds.

I’m a bit of a wild child