HMI Bird

If you’re into board games, I’m sorry

i think that people who use headphones in public places like trains are selfish. keeping all your cool music and podcasts to yourself is genuinely sociopathic and deranged behavior. play it on your phone's speaker and let everyone enjoy it, or don't play it at all

I played through the first Time Crisis via MAME with a mouse and it was fun and in some cases ABSOLUTE CINEMA.

just got a message from my DoorDash driver that said I am definitely not doing something to your pizza right now

A woman standing in her kitchen. She is taking a photo of herself and her boyfriend who is just a circulatory system. The text reads: It is November 10th now. Your circulatory system boyfriend stands by your pan in the kitchen. Unattended cooking is the number one cause of home fires. There are more home fires on Thanksgiving than any other day of the year. Always stand by your pan.

Today.

colleges are a lot like beers, in that it doesn’t really matter which one you pick. they’re all equally good and indistinguishable from one another

ask your doctor if committing to the bit is right for you

There is a fake tweet circulating about me saying I will “netdeck Mono Blue decks” if my opponent wins. This is not true. If my opponent wins I will oppose the results due to rampant cheating (removal, boardwipes) while keeping my dignity in tact.

You know that one clock you keep forgetting to adjust so that weeks or even months after the time change it still shows the wrong hour? That's how I still have so many followers.

Potato gremlin

Someone should do a mythbusters engineering to find out how fast you'd have to launch a sandwich to actually kill a person at various ranges.

LONDON (AP) — Buckingham Palace says King Charles III will strip Prince Andrew of remaining titles including “Andrew”, curse him to wander the Earth as “the nameless one”

The original Far Side Cow Tools Cartoon by Gary Larson. A cow stands on its hind legs behind a table, staring blankly at the viewer from behind its heavy brow ridge. On the table are four crudely made tools: a lump, a lump with an offset crooked handle, a long stick with hooked prongs at the end, and a crude handsaw with irregular teeth. In the background a barn sits on a hill. Caption reads, "Cow tools."

43 years ago today, readers the world over opened their newspapers and gazed upon cow tools for the first time. happy birthday cow tools. you look great.

Me driving home knowing there won't be a second date but at least now she knows which board games I think are totally overrated.

Lol my friggen dad. What a guy

I believe in energy, electricity, magnetism

My boss: so how's our fourth quarter looking?

Me, the sales manager at the company that makes inflatable frog suits: well, you're never going to believe this, but

If you know basic kabbalah it's actually not too hard to make a golem out of a labubu. Don't recommend it though. They have a pre-existing body-dharma. As soon as they wake they run straight for the sea. V hard to counter. Lost the first one. No idea what it's doing out there. Moved like lightning.

We're going back to the plane of New York City.

Explains a lot tbh

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?

A Jolteon from the popular pokémon game series holding a Brian from the very popular Quest 64 game series in its mouth

i don't mean to single out baseball fans here, because you see this in lots of fan communities, but in certain corners people talk as though baseball is real. they think all the players are real people and the stadiums are places you can actually visit. to each their own, but that cannot be healthy

Dudes rock

A display case full of super cool ninja swords and a couple of helmets

At the sword store, does anyone need anything

The Bee Gee’s patent on the beat necessary to resuscitate a human being has likely caused an excess of 200,000 deaths since their hit single first established the pace for CPR in 1977

most ethical Pyg item

what up chat im on oracletok and today we're talking about everyone's favorite licensing model. mine is per viewer-device-stream-minute