KalansPhantom R⚡️D Indy ♾️🏴‍☠️🔞 💙

They still have umbilical cords, so itty bitty.

Who needs sleep?

Phone calls at 10pm from the rescue never bode well. Guess who's gonna be up every few hours feeding newborn kittens?

My heart goes out to you, hold him close and tight.

When I imagine modern AU Stede's auxiliary closet, I imagine the closet from Princess Diaries 2. I can see young Stede seeing the movie and basing his closet off of it complete with remote.

My magnificent Remington.

Ed's pretty sure allowing himself to be blackmailed by two kids isn't the BEST thing, but he has to feel smug as he watches Stede eat dinner. He feels even more smug when he catches Stede guiltily eating ice cream just before bed.

"I figure the damage is already done." Stede admits with a flush.

Ed's Pizza Order

a cartoon chipmunk wearing a pink hat and pajamas is yawning in bed . ALT: a cartoon chipmunk wearing a pink hat and pajamas is yawning in bed .

Stede several hours later.

I am only a conduit for Sleepwalking Stede.

Who the hell knows what sleeping Stede thinks or dreams!

"Uh.. yeah, okay, listen. We're gonna make a deal. I'll convince your dad to pick up pizza for dinner and you two don't mention this, alright?" Ed tries while Alma purses her lips.

"Cinnamon sticks?" She counters.

"Yeah, okay, those too." Ed relents. "But especially pizza...with extra cheese."

"No, no, not that. More power to ya gremlins for gettin' midnight candy, but he remembers shit asleep? Like he'd remember where he put the ring?" Ed asks breathlessly.

"Um, sometimes, you just gotta try and ask right." Alma's eyes narrow a little. "Ring?"

"You lost a ring?" Lou echoes.

"Oh, no you gotta ask him while he's sleeping! Mom used to do that when he stole her brushes." Alma grins proudly.

"Yeah, Sleeping Dad will also get us candy if we ask." Lou chirps up and Alma hisses for him to be quiet.

"Wait what?"

"Nothin', Lou doesn't know what he's saying!"

"Oh! Did you check the shoes?" Lou perks up and begins to edge off his chair sneakily.

"Yup, and the freezer." Ed huffs in amusement. "C'mon, bud, we just got a few more."

"Did you ask Dad?" Alma glanced up from her tablet.

"Yeah, but yanno he doesn't remember much." Ed says wistfully.

"What'd you lose?" Alma prompts while he goes back to helping Lou with math, hoping like fuck Izzy never finds out he'd let his distraction make him fuck up long division.

"Bit of jewelry, think your Dad mighta hid it while he was sleep walking. No, Lou, here, ya gotta work it out on the paper."

Ed smirks to himself. "Your fault for learning to like me so quick."

It's weird, the kids, but a good sort of weird as he'd gotten to know them. They're little lunatics, just like their dad, accepting Ed with remarkable ease. He's still sorta in awe Stede trusts him with them while he's at work.

"But we can help." Louis pouts and glances around. "Bet I can find it!"

"You just want out of homework." Ed huffs and taps the paper. "C'mon, we're nearly done."

"You were more fun when you were tryin' to get us to like you." Lou sighs like no ones as burdened as he is.

"Yeah." Alma agrees.

"Did you check the wash?" Lou perks up. "Or Alma and I can help, I'm real good at findin' stuff!"

"Only 'cause you hide it in the first place." Alma snipes while Ed watches Louis shove his homework across the table with a sly smile.

"Uh-uh, sorry, mate. Homework first." Ed cautions.

"Did you and Dad fight?" Louis asks as Ed messes up a third explanation on a simple math equation.

"That's rude to ask. Lou." Alma chided.

"No it's not! Ed's never bad at homework."

"Dunno, mate, I was rubbish at it as a kid." Ed manages a wane smile. "Just had something go missing is all."

The next week is filled with the most intense cleaning Ed has ever done. Top to fucking bottom, hunting for any hint Stede might have a new hiding spot.

He comes up empty every time, so by the time the week with the kids rolls around, he is wound tight and tense. It's painfully obvious to them.

"I can help tomorrow." Stede offers softly in the dark.

"Nah, mate, s'fine. It'll turn up." Ed curls along Stede's back.

"I hope so." There's a soft fretful edge to Stede's voice. "I'm sorry I'm like this."

"Shut up, I'm not. Never woulda met you without your rambles." Ed purrs. "My dreamer."

Stede offers to help look, which makes Ed grit his teeth between hope and dread Stede will be the one to find it. As it is, the ring remains MIA and Ed quietly tries to act like he's not losing his mind.

And Stede is all apologies, sweet mournful looks that Ed kisses away at bedtime.

Stede’s scent was still upset even as Ed helped him clean up, his eyes sorrowful as he considered the mess. It was clear that he had gotten in too deep with the sauce that had involved actual tomatoes. Not canned, but real ones that had been sacrificed into the burned sauce, with more in a bowl as if they hadn’t passed muster. How long had he been trying to put together a meal? All because he wanted to make something for Ed? “I’m really sorry, Ed, I don’t know how this all got away from me.” Stede sighed as he dumped the pile of noodles into the trash. “Mary warned me I was overshooting.” “Shut the fuck up.” Ed growled and bumped his elbow lightly against Stede’s side. “This was fuckin’ amazing.” “It’s supposed to be perfect.” Stede said wistfully and winced as flour fell off the counter when he tried to gather up more mess. “It’s perfect ‘cause you’re here, mate.” Ed paused and slid his arms up behind Stede’s sides, pulling the alpha back. “Stop fretting, alpha. How about we order some delivery?” “You’re too forgiving.” Stede leaned back as Ed nosed his neck lightly, placing a soft kiss right on the sensitive scent gland. “Nah, mate, there’s nothing to forgive.” He nuzzled up behind his ear playfully. “Maybe one day we can try this together, yeah? Never really cooked but bet we could figure it out together.”

“Yeah?” Stede tipped his head, brushing his cheek against Ed’s gently, but some of the upset faded. “You’d like that?” Ed hid a smile against Stede’s neck as he imagined trying to cook together in the kitchen as they puzzled out the recipe. It was a pretty picture, filled with warm sunlight and laughter, a bit of a mess and softness. He hummed to himself and felt the faint purr starting in the back of his throat as he lingered in the daydream. “Yeah, mate, would really love that.” Ed breathed out softly and didn’t try to suppress is pleased purr. They managed to clean up the kitchen together to the point that it was no longer a disaster zone. Stede’s soft sad face faded into a shy smile as they worked, losing the scent of his upset. It wasn’t until Stede had loaded the dishwasher and went hunting for his phone so they could order they he found the flowers. All of Ed’s earlier worries about Stede being confused or, worse, upset at the flowers was lost the moment he picked up the bouquet. His face lit up, eyes blazing with delight as he lifted them up and cast a look at Ed, a shy smile ghosting his lips. “These are for me?” Stede breathed out and Ed grinned to himself. “Yeah, s’just… you know, your book, the rose? And the yellow ones made me think of your hair.” Ed admitted while

Stede lifted the flowers up and nestled his nose into them. “Wanted to bring you somethin’ for Valentine’s Day.” Stede hummed softly as the alpha burrowed his face into the petals, drawing in a breath that filled his chest. His eyes looked dreamy as he fluttered them open and a little smile tugged at his lips, cheeks going flushed pink with color. It was lovely watching him looking down at the flowers like they were a treasure, holding them close. He looked vulnerable and disbelieving while his fingers clutched the bouquet as if someone might take it from him. “I’ve never gotten flowers.” Stede breathed out in a devastatingly sweet voice. “Ed…” He blinked his eyes rapidly and glanced up through gold eyelashes. “Thank you.” “Yeah?” Ed’s heart gave a strange flip flop, a stuttering beat of pleasure as Stede nearly nuzzled into the flowers. “Well, gonna have to make sure you always have them, love.” There was something so sweet about the alpha holding onto the flowers. He looked dazed and sweet, unwilling to release them even as he leaned over to draw Ed into a kiss. He smelled like roses and orange marmalade, the scent suffusing Ed as he tipped his head into it happily. The warmth of the soft lips lingered briefly before there was a soft huff of breath and Stede drew back. “Stay right here, alright?” The words were whispered against his lips. “I’ll be right back.”

222. Ed's POV

Lenore does not appreciate close ups in the morning.

Every spring Ed went into heat like clockwork, he stopped his suppressants and then did one of two things. He either arranged for a friend to spend it with him (his preferred method really) or he began going to clubs to find a hookup for his heat. The latter was more common in the past few years, it seemed less messy. It also meant he was crawling out of his skin the moment he went off his suppressants and his instincts began to eat at him. It's like not having an alpha makes me crawl the walls. He thought with a little twitch of irritation for his own biology. He shifted from foot to foot on Stede’s doorstep and stared down at the flowers in his hand, feeling like an idiot. He’d never had anyone to spend time with Valentine’s Day and this morning he had tried to figure out what he could do to make this special. The flowers had him feeling uneasy. Would Stede even fucking want flowers? Those were something you gave an omega, but… but he kept thinking about the story. The Prince and his rose. He swallowed and fidgeted a bit further before lifting the hand with the roses to knock on the door lightly. He stared at the yellow roses and felt his stomach give a nervous flipflop and tried not to give into the urge to fling the roses away in a panic. His other hand gripped the small, wrapped box and tried not to feel like an idiot. Izzy had certainly thought he was being one, he’d had a few choice words before he'd left for the day.

“I don’t know how you think this’ll fuckin’ end, Edward, but it’s gonna end messy.” Izzy had snarled as he’d got ready. “I think I deserve to be happy.” Ed had snapped and cast his COO an irritated glare. “I think Stede makes me happy and maybe it’s time for you to figure out what the fuck makes you happy.” “What makes me happy is our fuckin’ work!” Izzy had snapped. “What’s next? You gonna show up with a bite on your damn neck!” “So what if I do?!” He’d snarled and felt something strange in his chest at that thought. It wasn’t an entirely happy thought, though, it wasn’t unhappy either. He’d never wanted to be bitten and claimed, but he wanted a future with Stede. He could see a life where he came home to the alpha, where they shared soft evening kisses or just sprawled together working on designing some new outfit. Hell, or just watching a movie. Domesticity had never been in the cards for Ed, but with Stede, god, he really wanted to imagine it. He frowned when there was no answer to his knock and then rapped his knuckles a bit harder. It only took a few more seconds before the door swung open and he was suffused with the warm scent of orange marmalade and smoke. And a very messy-looking alpha with the saddest eyes he’d ever seen, hair mussed up and features flushed red. “Edward!” Stede breathed and his face fell. “You’re early.”

“I…is that okay?” Ed asked just as the sound of a smoke alarm began to shrill and Stede looked like he might cry. “Shit, shit, I’m sorry, I just…” The alpha bolted away and Ed blinked, stepping into the apartment to more smoke. And a mess. The kitchen was in ruins, bowls and piles of utensils were on the counter as far as the eye could see and there was a pot smoking violently on the stove. Stede scrambled for the fire alarm, the alpha precariously stepping on a chair to unhook the thing with a curse. The bite of his upset was on the air as Ed set the flowers to one side and waded into the kitchen. “Oh, alpha…” Ed breathed as he looked at the mess that Stede had made, obviously trying to cook dinner for him. There was a recipe book propped up that was covered in what looked like tomato sauce, several more pots were in various stages of cooking on the stove with dishes piled in the sink. Stede must have been working on this for ages, and every place he looked showed a franticness that made his heart ache for Stede. “I-It’s not that bad.” Stede said miserably as he carefully stepped down from the chair while Ed deftly picked up the smoking pot to place in the sink. “I can salvage… something. I just wanted to do something special.” “Special?” Ed asked as he ran water in the burnt pan and Stede’s shoulders slumped.

“I’ve never made pasta from scratch, I thought.. it looked so easy on television. I’m so sorry, Ed, I’ve ruined everything.” The bite of the upset grew as Stede looked as though he might cry. “Hey, hey… no, don’t you dare.” Ed’s heart melted as he stepped forward, taking in the smears of sauce and flour all over Stede’s shirt. “You wanted to make pasta from scratch?” “It’s stupid, I know.” Stede mumbled and Ed huffed out, fondness making his chest ache. “It’s not stupid, silly alpha.” Ed reached up and cupped Stede’s cheek. “I love it, love you tried to do something new for me.” “Maybe I can salvage…something.” Stede said and he still looked so upset. “This isn’t how I wanted our Valentine’s Day to go, but I can—mmf!” Ed cupped his hand behind the back of Stede’s neck and pulled him forward, tipping his head to one side to draw him into a soft kiss. Stede had tried something entirely new for him. He hadn’t just grabbed a box of spaghetti to boil up, he’d tried to make it. He’d gone outside of his comfort zone to make something special just for Ed. Stede hummed softly against his kiss and began to relax as Ed slid his fingers into the soft hair, smiling as he felt a bit of sauce hidden there. Their lips parted against each other and he just let himself relax, suddenly not feeling so silly for his roses and gift. Stede would love them.

221. Ed's POV

Finally watched Death of a Unicorn and fuck yeah, I love it. I love that it's not about beautiful, dainty unicorns sweet as spun sugar and nickering softly at some virgin. Love the legends of unicorns being so damn wild and fierce hunters couldn't kill them. Give me more horror like this please!

Theres an AU here.

Screenshot of a title and chapter summary of a fanfiction titled Please Let Me Hold You. Text reads: Please Let Me Hold You Baladria Chapter 52: Revelation Summary: Stede finds a graphic surprise at home and runs away to Ed where he has a breakthrough and a setback. Stede nodded solemnly, and Ed patted his shoulder before heading to the kitchen to make some tea. Eventually, Stede rose and followed him to the kitchen where he hung glumly around the breakfast bar. Trailing his finger along the counter and avoiding Ed’s gaze, he said with feigned calmness, “She also said she thinks I’m gay.” Ed froze, his hand pausing halfway in the box of tea bags. “She does?” With a shrug and a short chuckle, Stede nodded. “Yeah. And I…well…what do you think?” “Stede, I can’t answer that for you.” At last Stede met Ed’s eyes, finding compassion in them. “But I’d really like to know what you think. I feel—I feel that you’d know better.” Ed sighed and placed the box on the counter. “Yeah. Yeah, I think she’s right. I think you’re gay.”

It's here! New chapter in Please Let Me Hold You. Stede learns stuff and has feelings about it. Pay attention to the beginning note. These next 3 chapters may/will hurt you. I'm running away now before you can hurt ME! #ofmd #ofmdfic

archiveofourown.org/works/606381...