KalansPhantom 🍐🏴‍☠️🔞 🪢

Black & white sticker reads ‘Grow a 🍐’

@kalansphantomff.bsky.social
🍐😘

"Looks like proper robbers stayed here," He observes breathlessly, holding the reins while Ed stares at him. "Can you imagine it?! Counting their loot, planning new heists!"

He sounds almost dreamy while Ed looks around the ramshackle place, trying to see what the FUCK has him so worked up.

Stede continues to surprise him. He swings down from the saddle with a hiss of pain and a rueful sigh. "Well, my own fault for not riding more, isn't it?"

The moment Stede pokes his nose into the barn he's grinning like a madman. Exclaiming over the old firepit and discarded bottles.

Ed snorts agreement and curves his neck into the unexpected hug before Stede relaxes his hold. He wonders how long before the posh man looks around and rethinks his giddiness. Ed imagines he's got some fancy manor of his own filled with servants and brandy and fucking gold chamber pots.

The old sheep barn is barely more than a few cockeyes walls and a roof, not fucking fancy at all, but a good bolthole for a new figutive. The moment he stops Stede lets out a wild giggle and two arms drop down to hug the thick curve of Ed's neck.

"We did it! We bloody did it!" He whispers fiercely.

Stede tries to guide Ed a few times, but each touch of the rein is light enough that Ed ignores them entirely.

"Sorry, mate, you don't want to stumble into some shitty town." Ed said silently before finding his way down a vaguely familiar path.

"Oh! You clever thing, you!" Stede gasps.

I really wasn't sure about posting this update but Brandon had a stay in the VA's psychiatric ward over the weekend.

Things are bad bad for us and we could really use help financially. Things are obviously bad bad for everyone, but even a dollar would help us right now.

Oh damn! 3 MONTHS?! That's nuts! :( Glad you're using it wisely and productively!

My wrists

Just someone to write the porn I dictate. That would be Lucius' ideal job 🤣

Oh my god these are GORGEOUS!!! Will be bidding!

Doing research for the orthopedtic appt I have thursday. Found out if they need to do surgery I'm off work for 6-8 weeks.

Guys, I am NOT built for sitting idle. My marriage will not survive me trapped at home and bored!!

I....need to do a lesbian au

I know its a banana but I blushed and cried the entire time I was drawing it 😬

Screenshot of an Our Flag Means Death fanfiction on AO3. Title: Please Let Me Hold You by Baladria. Chapter 60: Dummy for Dummy. Summary: Ed and Stede enjoy staying in on Saturday. Then they have a big announcement on Friday, and Ed has a special gift planned for Stede. Ed reached under his desk and pulled out a box wrapped in turquoise paper and topped with a giant teal organza bow. Biting his lower lip, he handed the box to Stede, who took it with a big smile. “For me?” Stede asked, completely surprised to be given a gift. Ed was waiting for him to open it, still biting his lip, and then Stede understood why Ed was so nervous. Something about this gift was momentous for him, so Stede treated the box with reverence. He didn’t tear off the paper like a kid at Christmas. He worked at it with an art restorer’s fastidiousness, pulling the corners up, turning it over and unsticking the tape that held the last of the paper on the box. Ed took the paper and tossed it behind them, never taking his eyes off Stede as he looked at the gift that sat on his lap.

Digital drawing of Stede sitting on Ed's lap. Stede is wearing a turquoise shirt and turquoise cat ear headset. Ed is wearing a purple shirt and purple cat ear headset that has earrings in the ears. Ed's hand is resting upon Stede's which is resting on a purple mouse

A NEW CHAPTER in Please Let Me Hold You. Ed and Stede have an announcement!! Also, this chapter features THE CUTEST art by @babykraken.bsky.social (sorry it took so long to get here!) & I couldn't be more honored to have BK illustrate this moment ❤️ #OFMD #ofmdfic

archiveofourown.org/works/606381...

Someone at the office made groundhog cookies for Groundhog's Day. This feels so Stede coded.

Digital title card showing a photo of yea cup, saucer and spoon with tea in it. It’s on a wooden table with a blue napkin. Then text reads The Sweet Spot | an innkeeper era story | by WellSussed | 10.5k | Rated E

I’ve posted The Sweet Spot, a fluffy innkeeper era story. In which two former pirates go slow, have their second first time, and learn to love and be loved.

I hope it provides some comfort ❤️

Tags and link ⬇️ #OFMDfanfic

Springfield (eating the dogs / cats) Ohio desperately needs your help with ICE.

Ohio Gov Mike DeWine said it will be “the next Minneapolis” as 15,000 Haitians (1/4th of the entire city) will have their TPS status prematurely revoked Weds Feb 4th.

Here are links to donate and volunteer directly: 1/

It's not often Ed sort of enjoys this body. Not often he feels any sort of peace. Yet, it settles on him as he cantors down a moonlight road and feels Stede slowly straighten up.

"Well, I suppose now is a terrible time to admit I'm rubbish with directional sense." Stede sighs.

Ed snorts laughter.

Ed's used to people using the bit like a punishment to yank his head down or force control. Stede's hands remain light, seemingly more concerned about staying on than forcing Ed into submission.

Lucky for Stede, Ed knows exactly where he's going. North, for sure, and an old farm road.

Ed's fucked up knee doesn't hurt in this form. He doesn't wheeze or pant. It's muscles answering him as he stretches his full length and tears down the road away from the manor. Stede's wild laughter hits his ears as the man leans over his back, clinging to him like a second skin.

Shit Ed hates about being a horse, giant ass list that needs multiple pages.

Shit Ed doesn't hate: running.

The night explodes around him as Stede lets out a WHOOP and clings to his back the moment Ed clears the door. Powerful legs stretch beneath him and it's just--it's perfect.

Ed high steps towards the doors, ears up as he hears the sounds of more people, distant horses, screams. It's chaotic near the house. It's FAMILIAR. He steps out into the cool night air with Stede sitting his back easily.

Well, if it's an escape he wants. Ed thinks and curves his neck playfully.

"I suppose you're right." Stede sighs and reaches up to gather the reins so gently they don't even tug at the bit.

The weight is a shock, the creak of saddle leather as Stede swings a leg over Ed's back. He shies to one side as the warm, strong!, legs wrap around him and settle in the stirrups.

Ed sidles and moves, snorting and dances on four hooves to step between Stede and the tack room. He can hear the fuss from the house. It feels like old times, with the chaos and the need to run. It blazes through him as Stede hastily adjusts the stirrups.

Come on, come on, get on, mate! He thinks.

"There, I know, rather barbaric." Stede sighs as Ed rolls the bit on his tongue, rattling it against his teeth with a toss of his head. "Perhaps I can find another."

Another?! The distraction isn't going to last, but he's looking at the tack room like he thinks he might find better.

Ed's had saddles and bridles jammed on him before, halters and harnesses. It's the closest to clothes he's gotten in nearly two years.

He hadn't ever had someone fuss over them, even while being hasty, Stede cinches and fits each piece with care. Even the cold bite of the iron bit seems bearable.

The first thing Ed realizes is that Stede is gentle. Ed's been here for six months, he's had people tack him up and try to break him. He's evaded most of it, but each time it's rough touches and calloused grips.

Stede is silk to their coarseness. Soft words that sound like he's talking to a person.

Ed's not sure why he lets Stede do it. The easiest explanation is its an escape from the fucking stable. But if that were the case he could have run after the servants left and Stede opened his stall door.

He could have run when he saw the bridle. The saddle.

Just fucked right off.

He didn't.