King Kamehamayhem

Me locked up in Alcatraz for not paying the tariff on my Godzilla movie download:

“Well at least women’s swimming is safe again.”

A Monday reminder, the U.S. is too busy “fall of Rome-ing” right now for you to give a shit what anybody thinks about you. Be as cringe as you wanna be. Be free.

Go to hell

a man in a suit and tie is sitting in front of a microphone and says are you kidding me ? ALT: a man in a suit and tie is sitting in front of a microphone and says are you kidding me ?

Barkley would never

If you’re in Wisconsin, vote today for Susan Crawford. There are also two special elections in Florida’s 1st and 6th districts. Let’s show Elon our country isn’t for sale.

I have zero regrets about this $3 investment from Five Below

If you see this, post what’s in your gameboy

“Yup, there’s your answer, fish bulb!”

On the bright side, every new day brings us that much closer to reading Trump’s obituary.

78 year old dementia patient shouts for two hours that Transgender Joe Biden needs to be stopped at the border.

People need to come to terms with the fact that you’re becoming out of touch with even things you care about.

*Colin Kaepernick kneels*

White nationalist: “THIS IS UN-AMERICAN AND AN ATTACK ON OUR WAY OF LIFE!”

*Elon Musk does Nazi salute on inauguration day*

White nationalist: “HE HAS AUTISM! The woke libs are so insensitive. Also, what bad things have Nazi’s ever done really? Prove it.”

Honestly, I trust people who actually WANT to be alive, far less than people who wish they were dead.

Just erring on the side of caution since it was recently found in ducks on Lake Michigan. Obviously a wide area there, but reporting things is how they get caught and prevented 🤷🏽‍♂️

Uhhh like a fresh dead bird? Because, no joke, you should be reporting that to animal control or the CDC since bird flu is going around

Top 4 workout jams tonight:

Elon Musk is a cuck (slur). To be one of the richest men in the world and still need so much approval and reassurance is so unbelievably and indescribably pathetic that it’s disgusting and embarrassing.

HOLY BUCKETS NEW SHIRT DESIGNS! You can find these in the Kamehamayhem store right now! Check these out now at the link in bio. I’ll be retiring some older shirt designs too to make room for new ones!

a man in a blue shirt is smiling while looking at a woman ALT: a man in a blue shirt is smiling while looking at a woman

Praise be unto him, the groovy one with the boom stick!

show me 4 pictures in your phone that have your energy but aren’t selfies

I was saving this for a special occasion, but it’s been one year of a month so bottoms up.

😆😆 that would’ve been amazing.

At Oracle no less! Tell Cody I said to suck it! 😆

My god. His sunken in eyes are like a buried echo of his true lizard self

I’ll die on the hill that this redesign was trash.