Simon Beard

Your regular reminder that if there were a vaccine against stupidity it wouldn't work because the stupid people would refuse to take it.

A packet of Marks & Spencer's Outrageously Chocolatey milk chocolate coated custard creams. (Whch are all mine.)

Happy days.

A pint of Harveys Best Bitter, less one sip, in a Harveys glass sits on a metal table.

That's better.

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This is something I've thought about doing for a while (but have too lazy to actually do it).
#guitar

Verifying my age with CV/gate.

A small dark tortoiseshell cat sits on a fireplace, staring at the camera.

Mrs Emma Peel wishes you all a Happy Caturday (but only if you have Dreamies).

Screenshot showing a picture of a Sylvanian Families toy and the headline Sylvanian Families in legal fight over TikTok sex and drugs videos

They're just blowing off steam ahead of the kids being off school for the summer holidays.

I bet you find it after you've bought some.

56 years ago today, three men left Earth and set off for the moon. A wise decision.

Another zoo drawing. I’ve called this one The Last Zoo. It’s a bunch of odd, bemused looking creatures in tiny cages and tanks. But don’t worry, it’s not real and most zoos aren’t like that anymore.

This is fantastic.

Cartoon: a series of six drawings of a man's head and shoulders. In each drawing he is wearing a trilby style hat at an increased angle until in the last one it is on the side of his head. The six stages are: Normal, Askew, Acock, Jaunty, Rakish, Alert Authorities. Caption: Hat Angle Guide

Hat angle guide

Stick one in your pocket, you'll never know when you might need it.

www.worldofmoose.com/products/hat...

“I am the real victim here.”
- rich white entitled dickheads every time.

In guitar there's a thing called blues lawyers, these are guys with a ton of disposable income who buy all the most expensive guitar stuff in order to play the same pentatonic lick over and over with.

They are the whales of guitar.

Then they came for the sarcastic people and I was like oh great that's exactly what we need right now well done to all concerned.

A Candy Apple Red Fender Jaguar rests in a red velvet-lined case, waiting for me to set it up.

I thought I'd set-up my Jaguar today.
Could I find my allen keys? Could I fuck.

YouTube video by R.E.M. - Topic Me In Honey

Thanks to @guitarmoog.bsky.social, I'm now humming this...

Thanks, now I'm humming it. My wife will be having words with you.

And he was a rubbish Superman.

Oh, I don't know about that.

I once had a very heated discussion with an art teacher who's argument was that artist calls art art, not some-one else.
Both Sheeran and Ozzy are already artists who's medium is music. Why shouldn't they do visual art too?

I disagree, because art shouldn't be the preserve of 'artists', but life would be really dull if we all agreed about everything.

In situations like this, where I find myself getting angry about something, I invoke the Beard-Winter Law: does the thing I'm getting angry about harm me, anyone I know, or anyone else?
If the answer is 'no', I ignore it and get on with my life.

That's true, I should have written 'European'.

Isn't that a problem French wines have, people don't know what grapes make a wine and we like to buy a 'brand'?

He is magnificent.

Not at all. In my experience, all cable-management tasks are profanity inducing.

My last day in a village where 25 men died in the First World War and Swifts nest in bus stops.

A cardboard box, containing smoked Herring and smoked Mackerel and a pot of horseradish sauce, sits on a black wooden picnic table. Behind it a pebble beach stretches to the sea.

Smoked fish at Aldborough, what's not to like?

Asda croissants are dreadful. Sainsbury's are better.
(In my opinion, of course.)