Jason Waterfalls 🏃🏼

You solicitors just gotta ruin all the fun don’t you

I must admit I’m a little underwhelmed by my Dominatrix’s Modern Slavery policy

I play golf in Handsworth! But to be fair to Jenrick I am sporting a hell of a tan at the moment

Could be a good bit of team bonding ☺️

I’d personally go for Limp Bizkit

Giros? 🇬🇷🤤

“That’s National Renewal” by Keir Starmer to the tune of “That’s Entertainment” by the Jam

I like to listen to Rage Against the Machine on my daily commute to my job (which basically involves giving the capitalist machine a handjob)

The only conspiracy I believe is that Zack De la Rocha is Kai the Hatchet Wielding Hitchhiker

Wot? Yeah I kno it’s the fuckin law but would of been chaos if I dint

Good deed done for the day! ☺️ stopped at a zebra crossing to let an old lady cross #bekind

The underdog spirit and general vibes have gone from LFC. Diaz, Nunez and Jota were dynamite wildcards and fan favourites - replaced by underperforming £100 million men (who only add to the pressure of being ‘favourites’). Missing that fun and freedom. Chiesa brings it & needs to play 🔴 #YNWA

Found this at my Nana’s and now worried she might be the Walter White of Wimborne

He’s not he’s just objected to one of my planning applications!

Or deliberate? 😉

Really thought this said “good luck cunt” at first glance

Sorry for the lack of alt text. Cba to write all the lyrics, and many people would be delighted not to hear this song. Oh and by the way, Oasis were FUCKING EPIC 😍

Anyway here’s wonderwall

Guess who’s back, with a new PFP to suit. Keeping it real, keeping it teal. Peace out

Don’t look a day older than 3-0 xox

Thank you I love it!

Parcels at Wembley tonight. Oasis at Wembley tomorrow. We going B2B

Yeah but she walked off when I got in a headed dispute about clock directions

(It’s anticlockwise btw)

Things I do to kill time: have an argument with a London Eye queue warden about whether it spins clockwise or anticlockwise

Overheard on the Southbank, London:

“Oh look, there’s a ferris wheel over there.”

Not even an air of excitement or exclamation. Karl Pilkington eat your heart out!

soundgarden is gonna lose their fucking mind

Get your Brits out for the lads

Telling my work colleagues that my girlfriend is on Bluesky and they wouldn’t know her

Pfft, easy when you’ve got no head.