Bill FJ Quinn

#Wikipedia are doing one of their semi-regular fundraisers when you go to look something up.

In a world of aggregation of media and social media sources, imagine an existence where Wikipedia was owned by Müsk or Zúçkerbèrg.

Then click the button and donate.

If I could write like anyone in the world, it would be the strange love child of Clive James, Dave Barry, and Bill Bryson.

I got some raised eyebrows from my colleagues when I came back from lunch in 1989 with this in hardback, but I loved it. Like nothing I'd ever read before.

I loved this book so much I've still not watched the film. In part because of the name change.

What the af?

That's NOT the correct title.

No, but my late father's go-to retort in this style was if one of us said, "I think...", he'd immediately reply, "You're not paid to think; you're paid to know!"

Surely yoghurt would make for a better lube than ice cream.

I was having breakfast at the time. Sue me.

Again, if you believe this is worthy of bunching up your Reg Grundys over it, you live a very simple, uncomplicated, and untroubled life.

Maybe get out more. 🤷

"Come in, Spinner!" 😁

What's wrong with some people is that they give more than two seconds' thought about which way to hang toilet paper.

It doesn't fucking matter.

Also in this category: does the milk go in your tea first.

The bloke I'm avoiding likes to work the brake and accelerator pedals to unbalance people while sitting down, deliberately pulls up short or past people waiting at stops, and if he doesn't like the look of someone, won't open the rear doors so they have to walk to the front to get off. Twat.

Great to hear this.

My son reconnected with me last year after seven years in the wilderness and now we trade pop culture notes. I've been giving him an education in 80s and 90s offbeat comedies like the Clerks series (Kevin Smith), Top Secret, and such.

I smile and nod when he talks gaming. 🎮🤷😁

A lot of great, friendly bus drivers out there, but also definitely a certain breed of fuckers who hate the world and want to take it out on their passengers.

Am about to change some of my weekly travel times to avoid one of these sociopaths.

I once told a café owner that his sign on the pavement was riddled with errors. He said he'd done business studies that taught him errors will attract customers.

I was sceptical *but* I had just paid him $14 for a large biscuit and a pack of coffee, so... 🤷

Translation: people with a fourth-grader's grasp of English or higher.

Catch the buses. Wear the socks. 🧦

No one could accuse Donald of being woke.

Alistair Beckett-King

In other news, he's on the stand-up comedy circuit in the UK.

Mostly watching the football ⚽ on a several hours' delay (sleep was more of a priority at 04:45h), but regularly distracted by the meandering incense patterns.

This just in: decades-old Australian slang isn't based on what you do and don't say. 😁

That's a very recent and unwelcome neologism mercifully almost entirely restricted to artisanal eateries.

No, sangers are sandwiches.

Snags are sausages.

#NupToTheCup

Hoping it's soggy and uncomfortable at Flemington for the punters.

a little girl is laying on the ground covered in leaves with the words nooooo on the bottom ALT: a little girl is laying on the ground covered in leaves with the words nooooo on the bottom

I've muted you, but I'm guessing it was a monosyllabic toddler tantrum.

Fkn idiots who think animals are people. Thought that was pretty self-evident, Anonymous Made-Up Name.

You dress your cats as Dickens characters, don't you? On the plus side, you're supporting the therapist industry. Go, you.

🤡

What, like the $1bn the BJs spent on a stadium reno? Not a whole stadium; a refurbishment.