Carly Shreck

People should lift each other up and cheer each other on, not try to outdo each other. The sky would be terribly dark with only one star.

🥹🥹

When Danny McBride got married he was told “you may now mckiss the McBride”

I’ll buy a hat from you 👀

“Banana bread old fashioned” what about this tastes like banana bread my guy

I don’t care what ingredients you put in an old fashioned, it always burns and I’m always gonna ask my partner to trade drinks with me when I order it

Love the energy!

Man With Fogged-Up Glasses Forced To Finish Soup Using Other Senses

Man With Fogged-Up Glasses Forced To Finish Soup Using Other Senses
theonion.com/man-with-fog...

Instead of saying "I didn't understand the halftime show, therefore it is bad art" maybe try and understand why you didn't get it and think critically about the presentation, symbolism, etc. This is part of the beauty of art and creativity.

Monday thought:

👇🦋💪

Every time I sing cough syrup I’m really singing “life’s too short to even carrot all”

Why are movies so long

Thanksgiving at 34 is me telling my mother that she needs to be nicer to herself

Report: Most Americans Have Enough Saved For Absolutely Incredible Single Day Of Retirement -The Onion

Report: Most Americans Have Enough Saved For Absolutely Incredible Single Day Of Retirement
theonion.com/report-most-...

100%!! 👌🏼

Ben and Jerry’s really knocked it out of the park with their non dairy phish food

that famous image of george bush receiving the news about 9/11 but he's sitting at the hot ones table with some sauce on his mouth

alternate timeline where instead of reading to children on 9/11, george bush was in the middle of filming hot ones

Someone called this mass exodus from Twitter ‘the fall of the Broman Empire’ and I died laughing. 💀

It was the Busta Rhymes
It was the Wusta Rhymes

A family of fuzzy white splitgill mushrooms grow on the underside of an upturned stick above a forest floor covered in dried leaves

Here are some nice mushrooms

Can we watch white christmas together and drink holiday cocktails

I know they’re not but I’m still depressed about it

When is Netflix going to release Julie and the Phantoms season 2

Just discovered the importance of labeling bottles. One of these has hair gel and one of these has face wash, and I definitely just chose the wrong one to wash my face with

It was🖕

My husband is watching the West Wing for the 10th time in the other room & I’m closing my eyes & imagining that it is real.

same girl, same