Mads

Melissa Etheridge is dad rock for the ladies - thoughts?

I am currently being adopted by a cat (it followed me home and meowed outside of my front door all night)

sometimes gender affirmation for a non-binary person comes in the form of a little girl double-checking whether or not she's walked into the girl's restroom

god may forgive you but the banks never will

much like declaring bankruptcy, even getting raptured won't get your student loans forgiven

"Um hey sorry boss, can I work remotely for the foreseeable future? Just got raptured"

As I progress into my early-thirties with friends in various decades of life, I am starting to realize that diapers happen at both a very young age, and at an age much younger than you'd expect

I have mentioned this to some of my non-lady friends and they seem interested in participating, so I'm thinking about suggesting a Simp Back and Enjoy the Ride club wherein the non-ladies watch the films that the lady club reviews and then they don't post reviews about said movies.

I heard most movie reviews are made by men so some girlies and I are starting a movie review / film club to try and get a few more lady opinions into the movie review ecosystem.

The Joe Rogan of the left won't be an individual guy because that's not how the left works. It'll be a conglomeration of a bunch of cool dudes in touch with their humanity, speaking out on atrocities and injustices, proposing solid solutions, and high-fiving all around.

"I wish there was a way to know you’re in the good old days before you’ve actually left them." The weather is nice, water wars haven't reached me, the wet bulb temperature isn't pervasive,...the good ol' days are this very fall

it sucks to be horny at work, but it sucks even more to want something too invasive and specific to get done in the restroom at work

the uhhhh arch of the moral cock is long but uhhhm it bends towards consent

Also because someone in my office was leaving drops of blood and poop on the toilet seat and floor. And because people don't wrap their pads and tampons in toilet paper before throwing them away. :(

I just think it's useful information for everyone to know and share as our bodies change and grow - like preparing food and exercising!

a gay demisexual nightclub called the ChitChatChub

I'm just like three video essays in a trenchcoat

my older, southern coworker just pronounced it, "Chicken-fil-A"

so basically Weapons is what happens when you don't get universal healthcare

there should be a class on personal hygiene that students should take every year until graduation

unfortunately my breakups could not have come at a hornier time

a comedy roast for your comedy-obsessed friend but it's really an intervention

"my life would be easier as a man" she thought, cis-genderedly

The first one was like, "okay maybe it's just this relationship that didn't work" and the second one was like, "okay maybe it's me" WHICH IS FINE I WILL BE FINE I just need to work on myself, which I already knew but was avoiding.

😭😭😭💔💔💔 I will be!

Bush being told about the second plane hitting the second tower

"sir, a second breakup has just hit-"

sometimes being poly is going through two breakups in a week and rethinking all of your life decisions up to that point

This account is actually a guerrilla marketing campaign by Big Tums

sometimes I just need a little tums to take the edge off

my company just hired someone who might be able to automate me out of a job. wish him the worst 🙏