Antifa-led Hellfire (The Cringerbread Man)

"The less I know, the better."
-Lando Norris.

Look at this asshole, pulling the ladder up behind him /s

Slow Horses is such a good show.

Sunday President diarrheas on the country, Monday President bulldozes White House, Tuesday President steals $230 million, Wednesday President... fucks a horse? Let's see if he fucks a horse.

[pulled over]

DOG COP: you ran a gray light

DOG DRIVER: but it was still gray when i went through the intersection

DOG COP: no it was gray

As Bluesky becomes the "New Twitter" (positive) and the "New Twitter" (derogatory), just keep in mind that one day in the future this administration is going to so something terrible related to this place and the Bluesky Leadership Team is ABSOLUTELY going to fully cooperate and fuck people over

According to legend, chickens are called Yardbirds because if we don't eat them they grow 3 feet tall.

I’ll leave you alone with your thoughts (they threatened)

Oh my gawd! Newsom blurred Yammy's throat mulva!

what if we find out updog was the cure for cancer this whole time and we've just been making jokes about it

terrifying if literal: attack ads

Labor Unions, EFF Sue Trump Administration to Stop Ideological Surveillance of Free Speech Online NEW YORK—The United Automobile Workers (UAW), Communications Workers of America (CWA), and American Federation of Teachers (AFT) filed a lawsuit today against the Departments of State and Homeland Sec...

!!!! EFF is teaming up with large labor unions to sue the federal government over their social media surveillance of people for their political beliefs. !!!!

Screenshot of a Facebook post featuring three of the Portland protesters wearing inflatable frog costumes with the following text: Episcopalians on Facebook Elizabeth Rose Elrod • 22h • Exodus 8:2-6 "But if you refuse to let them go, I will plague your whole country with frogs... The frogs shall come up on you and on your people and on all your officials."

you fucked around and now the Episcopalians are doing memes. are you happy now. are you

Mrs. Doubtfire is my favorite super hero movie.

Okay, we turned Disney around. Now for @m@z0n.

Cancel your Prime subscriptions.

Shop at Costco. They are on our side.

Instant purchasing gratification is not worth our Democracy.

Let's drop stock by a large enough percentage to cause Bozo heartburn...

And maybe, just maybe, a side change.

RFK Jr. cites circumcision in defending Tylenol-autism link

“There’s two studies that show children who are circumcised early have double the rate of autism. It’s highly likely because they’re given Tylenol,” said Kennedy.

He needs to shut up & stop talking about Autistic People.

Bored National Guard Goes Door To Door Asking If Chicagoans Have Any Order They Need Restored

Bored National Guard Goes Door To Door Asking If Chicagoans Have Any Order They Need Restored https://theonion.com/bored-national-guard-goes-door-to-door-asking-if-chicagoans-have-any-order-they-need-restored/

Wait... do we pronounce "apocalypses" as apocalypSEZ, or apocalypSEES?

Tried out a twin bed for the first time in 25 years and my first thought was “I have the right to an attorney”

Getting a straight answer out of Pam Bondi is like trying to drink bolognese through bucatini, am I right?

The condescension of two-bit Attorney General Pamela Jo Bondi today underscores that the only thing this administration excels at is a complete lack of self-awareness.

How about a fucking apology from any of these douches? Or maybe an admission that they were taken for a ride? Or even better, why don’t they lead their fan bases in opposing fascism.

Someone should start asking why we’re hearing and seeing Stephen Miller so much all of a sudden.

I just called a squirrel “squirrel dick” right to his face and he didn’t seem bothered by it at all. Anxious. He seemed generally anxious.

I want to learn how to watch rugby

I did that thing where I was reading about the mysterious “Wow” signal and got spooked thinking about aliens and now I’m afraid of getting out of bed and I have to pee.

White F-250 flying two enormous FUCK ICE flags eastbound on Lawrence if you want to go outside and salute

if bsky tanks i guess i’ll go back to saying stupid, weird, uncomfortable things to various cashiers and waitstaff

When musicians don’t know how to end a song, they just fade out. I think other writers should do that too. Sketch comedy, screenwriting, playwrights. Have everyone talk softer and softer as they slowly sneak off stage.
Novelists can end chapters with gradually shrinking type.