Cosmo Spatchcock

LMFAO I was stoned shopping, and it was a deal.

When I first came to Bsky 17 years ago, this was all farmland.

The GOP must be destroyed. It cannot be reformed

BREAKING: tired old woman, born to frolic with woodland creatures, has to get up and go to work. AGAIN.

"Stay put so I can diangulate your position."

*goes to sleep*

Peak boomer is typing a message into the email subject line

Purrrrfect shot 😻

Beautifully done

🥰

Thank you Air Canada for the strike. Both my bosses are stranded until next week and I’ve never believed in unions more.

Starting a gofuckme campaign

LMFAO

one of my core memories as a toddler is of being trusted to carry an entire plate of spaghetti and immediately dropping it all on the floor and my whole family laughing at me

My Jewish black metal big titty goth girlfriend band isn't doing so well

Apparently Ladel of milf isn't a good band name

@saltxnw.bsky.social gets full credit for taking the picture.

2/3's of the access road runs through my property line. I'm gonna pull an 'ol "Toll both Willy". Charge a dollar twenty five to those that pass. We're at that stage of the retirement plan.

Sorry y'all I changed my PFP last night. I meant to warn y'all, but I was hella high.

Oh shit, my bad. I changed it last night. It was too good of a Craig photo not to use.

Sign out in front of a shop that reads, "Anal Barber". Because butthole hair is still hair, and it needs to be cared for. Get the wicked comb-over. Maybe a butt hawk.

A little off the bottom please.

Texas Republicans have lost their damn minds.

😂😂😆

MS that’s just like your opinion news man

Damn straight!

An air fryer is an Easy-Bake oven for adults except the food doesn’t taste like lightbulb.

Yes, yes it is. I lose my temper so much less, my blood pressure has gone down immensely. Way safer.

This was a thing. I had John Cougar Melonhead on my wall for YEARS!