Shappi Khorsandi

I am never going to be a body popper. This one little life I had, I just never got round to it. Sad.

Organising benefits is very hard. I find myself not asking comedians because they have small kids/live too far/I can't remember their names.
Absolute minefield.

Kids asked me what i'd teach if i was a teacher. I said 'English' Vivie said, kindly 'You couldn't. It's changed now. Teacher's have to know what the difference between a noun and a verb is'
I see.

I could write an entire dissertation about how brilliant @kathyburke.bsky.social 's autobiography is. I have so many things to say and ask about class, grief, race, confidence, artistic integrity and the power of 'nah, not for me' ...but I have to get the dinner on. Just read it. What a woman 🥹🥰

Listening to my father earnestly and patiently explaining to my mum how she might consider posting reels she enjoys to her instagram rather than the family whatsapp. Very cute octogenarian chatter.

Emma Park explores the art and architecture of our new Glass Age, @samiraahmeduk.bsky.social joins a glam-rock goodbye to Marc Bolan and @shappikhorsandi.bsky.social proclaims the joys of a good gossip...

I hope Tommy Robinson converts to Islam. It would be quite the plot twist.

Rowan Atkinson's son is a Gurkha.
(I'm still reading Ben Elton's autobiography. It's great but long so I need these Wikipedia breaks)

Ben elton's autobiography is brilliant. I forget (dissociate) about how racist and sexist comedy still was when i started. I am hard on myself about my career...I did pretty well considering. And Shazia, who was really up against it as she didn't even binge drink to fit in like I did.

Jenny Evans is at Berkhamsted book festival and I will be in conversation with her and @jnraeside.bsky.social - Nigel Planer, @shappikhorsandi.bsky.social @lucia-oc.bsky.social Rebecca Ajulu Bushell, David Hepworth , James Haynes, Nigel Barden, Jakko Jakszyk and me

bookfestival.berkofest.com

Classic Beat This action at Newington Green’s Mildmay Club last night. Thank you @andyfieldhello.bsky.social @nickhelm.bsky.social @shappikhorsandi.bsky.social @athenakugblenu.bsky.social - and a wonderful audience. Let’s do it all again sometime!

I keep forgetting about bluesky. Hello!

If you ask me, and no one is, JK Rowling has an unhealthy relationship with Twitter.

Oi! #leamingtonspa too good for me are ya??? (Sorry. I love you and need you tomorrow ) #royalspacentre #leamingtoncomedy #leamingtonspacomedy

Live scenes from Engerlaaand.

Caroline Aherne was born in Ealing. Busy day.

My boho, muffin-making Iranian dad What you might be misunderstanding about Iranians

People often make assumptions about my Iranian dad, writes @shappikhorsandi.bsky.social - but being from a country that’s constantly misrepresented has given me a lifelong radar for nuance

August is a wonderful hiding place

My boho, muffin-making Iranian dad What you might be misunderstanding about Iranians

✨New online:

People often make assumptions about my Iranian dad, writes @shappikhorsandi.bsky.social - but being from a country that’s constantly misrepresented has given me a lifelong radar for nuance

I was on masterchef years ago...wanted to search what was going on with the latest sacking but spelled his name too many times and gave up.

Wheelchair Access, Wheelchair Accessible Toilets, Audio Enhancement System

Oh and dont miss this in Edinburgh #edfringe www.edfringe.com/tickets/what...

Sima Bina | Barbican Legendary vocalist Sima Bina returns to the stage with her timeless interpretations of Persian folk and regional music.

Music lover, life lovers...you cannot miss this living legend #simabina www.barbican.org.uk/whats-on/202...

Fraudster jailed for selling fake 'Scottish-grown tea' - BBC News Thomas Robinson tricked luxury stores into buying "Scottish-grown tea" that was actually grown abroad.

Posh Del boy...'Peckham Springs' vibes. www.bbc.com/news/article...

💚🤍❤️ it was so lovely to meet you xx

People keep texting me to ask how my family are. I appreciate it. They are as below. Love to everyone who is in nightmare of war.

Ha! What a fun night :)

I did a keynote speech yesterday at Warwick university. It went so well. Real connection made. I have a tour show at Warwick Uni tomorrow which has not quite sold out. Did I mention the tour show to the audience yesterday? No. No I did not because I am an idiot. Thank you for your time.

Today I set up my first EVER zoom call, from my own account. Wow. Never felt so grown up since the first time I drove my car on to a car ferry when I was 45. Maybe one day I will understand what an ISA is.

In hospital 12 years ago today. And what a brilliant day we had. Happy birthday to my magical girl ❤️

I love the Rik Mayall Comedy Festival. He was a hero to me. His sister and daughter Bonnie came to my show and I was beside myself happy. It's fun isn't it? this comedy thing.