k3lz3y 🖤

this is me “attention seeking.”
please dm me! i’m lonely :( i just want friends!

i hate being alive & trapped in this body

i wanna $h SO BADLY

i’m gonna be real for a second…
if i don’t get this surgery? i’ll become a member of the 27 club. i won’t make it to 28.
i’m so exhausted; mentally & physically… i’m done.

I NEED A GUN!!!!!!!

wish i could just “call it”

these withdrawals make me feel insane

i wanna bash my head against the wall

these withdrawals are BAD.
like i genuinely wanna km$ or at LEAST $h…
i’m clenching my jaw SO HARD to NOT!
i know these are withdrawal symptoms / side effects, but HOLY SHIT… this is BAD bad. ya know?

wouldn’t it be a little funny if i km$ right now?
i won’t. but it WOULD be a lil funny!

me & the friend spending night *apparently* made a pact back in high school that we “wouldn’t” til we’re 30 y/o. but as of today… we’re both 27! why not join the club now!!!

(i won’t… i’m a coward thankfully)

i’m gonna set up my new shower chair & if i’m still drunk enough? i’ll shower (including washing my hair!). wish me luck! ❤️

uh oh! i’m drunk… should i attempt to shower?
i can’t remember the last time i showered…
but i think it was about a month ago?
i know FOR SURE i showered for my gyno appointment (in dec). but i don’t think i’ve washed my hair since my birthday (in nov)?
i think i’m drunk enough to attempt to shower!

yeah… idk if i can watch “heated rivalry” because after finishing episode two? i’m just extremely annoyed & getting more pissed off at men as a whole… (yes, i know it’s a fictional show)
also, i don’t want to create more facial wrinkles from constantly making an angry/annoyed face LOL

i have emetophobia, but torturing cis-men? i’m in.

any cis-man i meet / encounter from now
on should be forced to chug malört until they throw up (as a form of torture)

in reality, i’m just a partner that demands praise, cuddles, affection, kisses, etc.

i *personally* do NOT enjoy being
rough / thrown around UNLESS i’m praised for it & comforted afterwards!

if you don’t tell me i did a “good job” after roughing me up? i have a g*u*n… LOL

i also like posts in solidarity! so i completely understand that

@mommawitchbitxh.bsky.social @toomuchmommy.bsky.social @bellebubbless.bsky.social
i appreciate y’all so so much 🩵 genuinely 🥺

like genuinely SHUT UP!
and would it kill you to be kind? affectionate? show appreciation for your partner? maybe not always act “tough”? like god… men annoy me so much LOL

cis-men piss me off so much, even in tv shows 🤣

that's why i genuinely wonder what the "ratio" is!
because again, i understand both sides. i imagine it gets BEYOND annoying to see a person (aka me again! LOL) "whine/cry" about the same things nonstop.
even though i don't do that irl? you guys don't see that part. you only see me venting/ranting.

i wonder bc i understand both sides tbh!
on one hand, it’s sad to see a person (aka me) live through awful circumstances; you want them to see better days.
on the other hand… i *specifically* never stfu. i’m always complaining.
to be fair, i use this app as my diary! i don’t constantly complain irl

i wonder how many people read my posts & think “just stfu & ky$ already” VERSES!!! the people that read my posts & think “damn… kelsey is really going through it. her life circumstances are tough. i genuinely hope she gets the help & care she needs.”

annoyance/apathy/callous vs concern/empathy/care

i should’ve just r3lapsed on drugz with those $200… i know it’s SO STUPID to be this upset over something not working, but i am…
as ridiculous as it sounds, i’m gutted. i just wanted ONE good thing; just one! but no.

i’m still mad.
“yeah, you ~really~ look disabled… are you one of the people that keeps stealing the good parking spots?”
and what if i k!ll you with a gun?

if you get offended by this, block me.
some people’s “typing quirks” are so annoying bc they’re genuinely illegible…
maybe i’m “biased” bc i have dyslexia (& adhd). it just frustrates me when i can’t read/understand a “simple” post bc of a “typing quirk.”
what’s the point of “typing quirks” anyways?

or drugz. but i don’t have access to drugz…
i just want ONE DAY without (or even just less) pain!

i wanna relapse on SH sooo badly!!!

idk… it just upsets me because
1) i wouldn’t have to get a SCS at my age if dr’s actually took pa!n patients seriously (& didn’t view them all as drvg addicts)
2) my insurance is trying their BEST to NOT approve my surgery rn… & they may get their wish… if they do? i’m fucked…
i NEED help!

the sp!ne surgery i’m getting is a spinal cord stimulator (SCS). it’s an implant that blocks pain signals from my spine to my brain… every medical professional i’ve seen is SHOCKED that i need a SCS at my age. yeah! maybe because no one will prescribe pa!n meds! so this is the only option i have!