k3lz3y 🖤

Labradors

if i kⓂ️$? i think this will be the song i listen to on repeat. it’s just so special to me. open.spotify.com/track/3pFd9A...

i’m at the point where i think joining the “27 club” is the best option; for me & for my family… if the “budget” ends up cutting food stamps & medicaid? SPECIFICALLY MEDICAID?!? i’m fucked… i’m not going to put my family in debt for existing. i’ll wait it out, see what happens! but i BET i’m fucked.

my gofundme and my tiktok! if you’re seriously down to share my stuff? i’ll send you the links! i, myself, am just too exhausted & tired to keep fighting… but i appreciate you SO MUCH!!!

see! you get it!

i don’t know any rich folks besides celebrities (actors & actresses, musicians & such). plus, my memory is so bad now that i struggle to connect faces & names.
& my fav “celebs”? i don’t want them to block me for “begging” before i go. ya know?
but hey! if you wanna tag rich folks, please do so! 🩵

i COMPLETELY understand that some able-bodied people can’t afford / pay for the care they need… which is absolutely heartbreaking 💔 & i empathize bc i’m poor asf myself.
but when able-bodied folks are fortunate enough to afford / pay for proper care & treatment, but refuse it?!? FUCK YOU.

my biggest flaw is having little to no empathy for able-bodied people that REFUSE to do ANYTHING to fix their circumstances…
i’m not talking about finances, that’s a whole different story… i’m talking about able-bodied folks that have access to ALL the resources they may need, but still refuse help!

i just read through some of my posts on this account & damn! i’m truly unfiltered on here. hell yeah! 😎
i’m just calling out people 24/7!
fuck ice.
fuck trvmp.
fuck Ⓜ️AGA.
fuck isreal.
fuck bigots.
fuck racists & transphobes (especially my old, loser neighbors).
ETC!
i mean, the list goes on and on!

someone i know (in another online space) got a $10K donation to their gofundme (for an expected death in the family). a nfl player from their hometown donated, which is great! i’m happy for them!
at the same time? i’m so sad & jealous… i’ll admit that! i wish a rich person would see my GFM & donate…

idk i just hate existing & being in constant pain… i truly want to make music again (esp now that i’m able to sit up for 1-2 hours), but making music will STILL cause me a TON of pain… so if no one will actually listen to my music? i’m not going to put myself in pain just for my passion aka music.

i will ALWAYS call out “christians” on their hypocrisy because i WAS a Christian! so the “christians” i know irl? that have an ABUNDANCE of wealth, but refuse to even SIMPLY repost my GoFundMe?!? yeah, i’m gonna call them out… like, okay you won’t donate - fine. but you can’t even REPOST the link?!?

but last night when i was SOBER & laughing to the same stuff, it was fine? & i understand… my mom used to be a FULL blown alcoholic… but we BOTH planned on drinking tonight, she REQUESTED i stay IN the bedroom (despite me watching videos & laughing bc it makes her feel safe) but NOW it’s a problem…

and my mom ASKED me to stay in the bedroom with her, as i watch my videos, so she feels more safe! like… i haven’t drank “too much” tonight. i’m just watching funny content, which is making me laugh (& she said, “even if you laugh, i’ll fall asleep.”) but now it’s a problem? because i’m drinking?

but THEN she said, me giggling so much (at the COMEDY / funny content creators i’m watching) concerns her because of how much i drank… like… god forbid i laugh at FUNNY videos / content!!! i’m currently catching up on “sinjin drowning” videos. those siblings make me LAUGH!!! drunk OR sober!

well, as she’s going to sleep she says “i’m worried about how much you’re drinking.” oh?
1) you bought a 30-pack of beer just for me! (she doesn’t drink beer)
2) she wanted me to stay in her room (as i watch funny videos & LAUGH) because it makes her feel safe.

my mom asked me to join her for her “b-day vacay weekend.” so i did! it’s just us. i think she also asked me to go (to keep me safe from my dad bc my dad is crazy rn). anyways… we BOTH planned on drinking tonight. my mom decided last minute she won’t drink. but i still am! she bought drinks for me!

but aye! i’m glad i get some recognition for something i’m good at! even if that’s just being a moderator for YouTube livestreams LOL

being disabled, unable to work, mentally ill, and poor really takes a toll on me… but i’m a good moderator apparently! so i’ll take it! 🫡

& she insulted my age despite the youtuber himself being a year younger than me?
in reply to that comment specifically, he said “yeah no. FUCK that.” 🤣
also after our long conversation, he told me “you’re the only mod that understands everything I swear 🙏”
maybe bc i actually read the mod rules LOL

if you’re hired to be a mod for one of the MOST popular youtubers in that specific niche? you have to act right… & the mod i got fired?!? it was JUSTIFIED! she was a MESS & said shit like “not my fault people can’t handle my attitude.” HELLO?!? you’re a mod! you’re supposed to be a professional!

LOL i got another moderator fired for being crazy hahaha

lastly, most leftists KNOW that the politicians we have to vote for aren’t “perfect/ideal.” they’re corrupt in some ways by simply being apart of our governmental system (america’s gov is corrupt to its core). but… if people ACTUALLY voted? we could’ve avoided *THIS*!!! at least to some extent!

one of my ex moots on twt was so “proud” of not voting because she “refused to support corruption on either side, to any extent.” well girly! how do you feel now?
are you ashamed? embarrassed? because you should be! by not voting, you helped fascism win! i hope non-voters realize that…

also with the whole “they’re both corrupt” argument? we live in AMERICA! this is the system we live in & it won’t change anytime soon! we’re FORCED to participate in this corrupt system…
of course both sides are corrupt to some extent. but one side causes WAY more harm & danger than the other… bffr!

i hope all the “i didn’t vote because both sides are corrupt” americans feel absolutely ashamed… in america? voting for the “less corrupt” / “lesser of two evils” means we probably could’ve avoided a full-on dictatorship! or at LEAST we could’ve avoided some of the insane ICE raids & tariffs…

i just DON’T understand why grown ass adults, especially that are related & LIVING together, can’t just have a conversation and set up a solution? and my mom knows when i can help, i will. i often do help with the house stuff without asking when i feel well. but when i offer help? she ignores it.

i’m annoyed & have no empathy because 1) i could tell my mom was upset and OFFERED to help 2) she IGNORED my offer for help and then! 3) she just complains about the same issue but won’t TALK to my uncle about it!

then she told ME to leave her alone! you’re a grown woman. talk to your brother ffs…

my uncle lets my mom & i live in his HOUSE. does my mom do the majority of the house work? yes. is that annoying & difficult as hell? yes. the solution: TALK TO YOUR BROTHER & WORK SOMETHING OUT?! stop moping around ffs! i just DON'T understand like, if you problem with someone, not talking it out!

i genuinely struggle SO much with empathy (with people irl). my mom came home upset, i asked her what was wrong & offered to help if she needed anything, she didn’t respond to my offer and just told me she is “done with everything” in regards to my uncle & to just leave her alone. like OKAY?!?

also i hate myself, but what’s new? LOL 🤷‍♀️

i’m bored and lonely :/