My current job denied me 4 days off with 8 weeks notice to go see my friend who's dying so I need a new job but i really want this one

I'm being very normal about having to wait a long weekend to hear back about this job I desperately want. I'm going to be very normal if I don't get it despite it being like it was designed for me personally

Image of George bush learning about the 2nd plane hitting the World Trade Center

A third dude has entered the brewery talking about the baby pics

Couple dudes at the brewery talking about the boys group chat dropping new baby pics and much distress at the bartender missing them was quite a delight

Just helped the bartender get baby pictures from his group chat by suggesting he turns his phone off and on again. Hit me up for your baby related tech support needs

Sometimes your life makes a series of turns and you find yourself running the zoom for a bris

Holding my cat up to the screen at the vet and asking how he intends to pay for this.

Mulder watches pornography or senate hearings

My dieting coworker is constantly talking about how hungry she is and finally another coworker said "yeah girl because you don't eat"

Screenshot of the plot section of the Wikipedia for the show T-Bag

Sometimes I'm minding my own business and I remember the children's Tele show T-Bag

I got to tell someone about one big frog today and I didn't even bring it up myself

Next time we hang out and play games we should play the bean game

Sometimes you bring up the 72 bus and people think you're being weird and sometimes you bring up the the 72 bus and people thank you for the information. There's no way to know

I watched two episodes of nobody wants this and I won't be watching more and I don't want to actually get into A Conversation about it but why is the rabbi character unconventional?

I was going to go to thing in Sacramento with a friend of Dels but I was anxious about hanging out with someone I don't know so I was like "well I'll take the train that'll be fun for me" nope. Not an option

There's a weekly office trivia i reluctantly participate in and today I knew an answer about brat summer and Chappell Roan so they assumed I knew the other pop music answers and I had to explain that I only know the gay ones

It's too cold. I hate this.

Scully is wearing pantyhose (not tights) under her pants. The 90s was an awful time

Tom Bombadil is Cottagecore Cthulhu. I will not be taking questions at this time.

I had a new idea and wrote it down

Fuck I just remembered that I had a great idea for a first wedding anniversary present to my spouse and I can’t remember what it was. It was paper related

I fundamentally don’t understand how insurance works and live in mild fear of that being found out. Currently navigating my first car accident as an adult (at age 41) and I think I can bluff my way through it
Do not explain insurance to me please.

Saw one in a national park a couple weeks ago and I’m still mad about it

I can usually pick out the star but not always. And honestly I don’t think one system makes more sense than the other. I see the reasoning behind both which is honestly probably why I can’t remember

I feel like I’d enjoy it. I love putting my legs up the wall it always feels nice and I don’t care if it’s scientifically proven or not. Nice things are nice

Leaving my office today I hit B because my brain short circuited and went “well 1 is wrong you want Lobby which is L and B is also a letter”

I love this for you

Just yesterday I was telling a story I’d told the day before and I had to ask “what’s the floor that’s not the ground floor but one up?” I will never remember

I am pro invading Canada but only because I think 1) we should liberate them from their oppressive King and 2) who said the War of 1812 was over? Let’s fucking go

I absolutely knew what he meant that him and me have a more casual vibe than his ex does but it was so fucking funny some sitcom shit