Felicia Schembari

Do you think the priest drinks the baptism water afterwards?

I like to get back on dating apps immediately after major sociopolitical events. That way I know right away, y’know?

I want a docu-series about the most popular YouTubers from 2006 having to enter the regular workforce. Just people like iJustine interviewing for Jamba Juice. ZeFrank working in a State Farm call center.

‘Becky’ is short for ‘Breakfast’

Came to bluesky after a year thinking maybe it sucks less and found this. Hey @bsky.app…what? For the profile pic? Wasn’t aware that a centimeter of flesh was sexually suggestive or that it warrants blurring my profile image

I posted this a year and a half ago and this friend has since doubled down and told me I am like the costanza of our friendship and I just don’t know what I did to be perceived this way

My favorite part of Insidious: The Red Door is when Patrick Wilson ate a spoonful of raw, dry oats straight from an oatmeal packet and was clearly having a bad time trying to get it down before saying his next line

Ooo, that’s a good point

Hey fuck you

Is it bad if guys immediately give me the Ick when they’re too much like me? Let’s examine that (let’s not)

I take a lot of my fashion inspo from bees

Celebrated our founding fathers by eating curry that would’ve easily made every last one of them shit themselves to death

I know

I like to think that if I grit my teeth and audibly make an “eeeeeeeeeeeee” noise as I try to squeeze my car into a tight spot, I’ll be untouchable

Please

I read this as “due to paranormal reasons,” which also works

Hey wait a minute…

I would live exclusively in jumpsuits and onesies if it weren’t for all the shid and piss

A good friend told me that the Disney character(s) I’m most like are the gargoyles from hunchback, and like, he’s not wrong, but let me tell you, I was not prepared to hear that

What should my first skeet be

Slay