Haggis Chihuahua (AKA Steve Barber)

I want a presidential candidate who promises to construct Union memorials and statues all over the country.

And yeah, North and South. Blanket Virginia with statues of Thomas, who actually chose the right side.

Hell, put one of Sherman in the middle of Peachtree Park.

How tall is she? Will I need a ladder?

Is Wanda married?

If I wanted to eat glue, I’d chew up a bottle of Elmer’s.

Blaugh!

Hey! At least we’ll be getting an oversized, gold-plated ballroom.

Perhaps he should receive the same fate as the dog.

Good idea. I’ll get right on it.

Changing history now, are we? Who might do such a thing?

I will always love this.

Sorry, Luke.

You might want to switch it up with a tonic and gin instead.

Maurene Comey's goodbye note to SDNY colleagues:

I’m guessing the guy who took Trump’s SAT for him didn’t score as well.

Unfreaking real.

*pours the Lagavulin* Cheers! And many more!

Sometime early next year the US Treasury will stop distributing the one cent coin (AKA $.01). It’s gonna be a blast watching the MAGAts pretend they know how to round up to the nearest nickle.

What Hodo says.

Story of my life. Just because I’m studly, all the hot chicks are after me.

Forget it. Don’t want no yappy girlfriends. Unless she can cook.

Find her an older Chihuey for a boyfriend. Someone like…me, maybe.

♥️You have no idea how happy this makes me. Enjoy your sticks, Amigo!

I used to have three but for some reason Canada, Panama, and Greenland won’t return my calls anymore.

I knew it!

“Holy rusted metal, Batman!"

Americans have friends?

What about Shemp?

If you think a just-fertilized ovary is entitled to life but are indifferent to what happens to a kidnapped 4-year-old with cancer, sent to a dangerous country without meds, you don’t give a fuck about the lives of children. You are just in a cult that fetishizes being against abortions.

So Spike. How do you feel about collecting sticks?