blackbird

listen, i’m autistic and dissociative with a SH history… of Course i struggle with just about every BFRB; it’s a cow farm, you’re gonna find cows outside

relapsed, boys, let’s try this again because we do not deserve to have our hands hurt all of the goddamn time

We need to teach people the difference between being uncomfortable and being unsafe. Because the discomfort of the safest people is endangering the most vulnerable, all day every day.

the cruelty is the point

two months (62 days), i have had to file my nails down multiple times and it is so satisfying every time

i like the clicky clacky, though i am still having trouble typing

urges are basically gone? it’s not an immediate impulse anymore and the desire for clicky clacky no pain outweighs the habit

a month and a half, i have clicky clacky nails and typing is tricky now, but i get a lot of gender euphoria from having the spindliest possible looking hands, so i’m thriving

fifty days til hysterectomy time and this shit could not come sooner, i theoretically only have one shark week left!!!!

hey, lights of my local life, @mischieftoy.com, best quality trans sticker artist ever @sweatermuppet.bsky.social is having a moving sale, if you’re looking for new sticker vendors to carry 👀 just saying, no comment, but JUST SAYINGA

i miss ireland every single fucking day, but that has really been hitting different since the rapid descent into fascism

i am so anxious today that my brain is screaming and my body is nauseous and jittery

about what, you ask?? *gesturing vaguely around me at the general World and Environment*

time passes in a breath. feels like just yesterday, my nephew was clinging to the tip of my thumb with his whole hand. 64 days will pass quickly. fascism makes it feel so slow, but it will fucking pass and my body will no longer be vulnerable. i won’t need emergency plan b for me.

when my second nibling is born, my nephew will be about twenty one months old- i will have not bitten my nails for six months, i will be fully healed from my hysterectomy enough to be able to carry my nephew again, i will be seven and a half years post top surgery.

one month nail biting free and i’ve only broken one nail (damn shower water, softening it enough to tear)

still get gnarly urges, i’m trying very hard to stop tearing my cuticles too, it’s just tricky with the amount of scar tissue i have- overall, doing well, proud of myself

this is EASILY the fourth time this fucking thing will have cut me deep enough to scar- it’s just so efficient at getting surfaces flat and clean and sticker free, it’s my favourite hand tool, it just feeds on my fucking blood and finger meat

A girl GRINNING with an air of absolute chaos and mischief.

me, looking at a styptic powder: sigh… my love… but what would i even use you for lately

my one particular wood carving tool and its unslakable bloodthirst:

Happy 5th pandemicversary, to all who celebrate. Since we learned absolute fuck all from that whole experience, here’s to hoping the next one will be even more successful.

Please enjoy arbys

such a shame to have missed this! will they be selling at yours again?

well, after two weeks, my nails are juuust at a normal and not painful short length

can't believe it's 2025 and i'm stressed about tariffs and measles, like am i a character in an american girl book

Sterilization Info So! You don’t want your body to be weaponized against you? Or you think pregnancy is some shit from Alien and would rather not have a baby bust out of you like the Kool-Aid Man? Or both? Here’s ✨inf...

sharing this in progress google doc i'm making on sterilization options (hysterectomy section p much done for now, moving on tomorrow) for nO PERCEIVABLE REASON: docs.google.com/document/d/1...

Gynecologists who will perform a tubal sterilization

sharing this link for tubal sterilization doctors for no perceivable reason: docs.google.com/spreadsheets...

disclaimer: the mailman is, in fact, a woman who loves him and loves giving him treats and jokes about stealing him in exchange for our mail and the puppy is equally as delighted to see a dog twice her size (she is Microscopic), it’s just the excitement-piss problem

this includes “oh god oh jesus oh no the mailman is about to get dive tackled for treats” and “no no no the neighbour’s dog is still a puppy who pees when she’s excited, LEAVE THE BABY, NO” and “hey. Hey. you KNOW you have to get ur muddy paws wiped off before u get in my bed >:( CMERE”

A good quality photograph of a red merle Australian shepherd with blue-brown heterochromia, mostly both blue with a chunk of brown in one eye. His fluffy ears are happily peeled up. He’s greying, though his little eyebrows and cheeks are as orange as ever. He’s happily panting up at someone to the right and behind the camera.

a real quote about my dog that made me laugh: it’s not that he has bad recall in his old age, it is that he Selectively Elects to have NO Recall!

the boy assesses the situation’s value to him, regardless of the increasing panic in your voice!

have been consciously trying to stop biting my nails again for one whole day and promptly ripped into the side of my hand unconsciously with the currently extant nail length

i forget that i declaw myself for safety purposes :/

Gonna be honest: it's hard to feel anything resembling optimism for the future these days.

I genuinely feel as if we've entered into a really terrible time in history, one that will be looked back upon with confusion, anger, and disgust.

not engaging with the rage bait any further than telling you from someone who lived what you’re theorizing about- shut the fuck up. you’re not protecting anyone. you’re not helping anyone. you are contributing Fuck All but problems. your voice is not needed or wanted or helpful here. go where it is.

you’re fucking weird for dedicating your time to being shitty to trans kids

-from a trans adult who was a trans kid seventeen fucking years ago whose life would have been infinitely less painful with access to hormone blockers

a man is sitting in a chair with his eyes closed and the hashtag #highcastle on the bottom ALT: a man is sitting in a chair with his eyes closed and the hashtag #highcastle on the bottom

it used to be a distant kind of solemn to hear of how terrified my grandfather was when my mother got a depression diagnosis. how scared he was for her to have that on her medical record.

i thought the relevance of the story would fade with the stigma around mental health.

sometimes my half awake nightmare notes are horrifying, sometimes they’re funny, sometimes they’re poetic and sometimes they are simply…

That Super Bowl was a gift for black artists. Kendrick showed us a way forward in this time of facism. Coded language. Storytelling. Aggressive humor and joy. Elevated artistry in the place of mere entertainment. Not obeying in advance. Saying the thing that respectability doesn’t want us say.