Kirsty

Boxes of Roses and Whiskas for kittens,
Discounts on kettles and M&S mittens
That lovely young man who sang "fried onion rings"
I think non white people can advertise things

I’m sorry but these sound like vintage esoteric euphemisms for “homosexual”

Fucks sake! You got my hopes up there.

Currently listening to your audiobook. The perfect combination of ‘laugh out loud funny’ and ‘stop listening for the day to because your sobbing is getting a bit loud.’
What you do is incredible.

Under the moonlight, you see a sight that almost stops your heart

Now I've heard there was a secret chord
That David played and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do you?
It goes like this, the fourth, the fifth
The minor falls, the major lifts
The baffled king composing Where’s me jumper
Where's me jumper
Where's me jumper
Where's me jumper

YouTube video by ViralHog Magic Word Wakes Doggie from Deep Sleep || ViralHog

A brief moment of celebration for this, my favourite online dog video www.youtube.com/watch?v=4kJl...

Pretend you're a kangaroo by sticking a photo of your child out of the top of your trousers.

I once tweeted that Cilla Black had a voice like two skinheads kicking a banjo up the A19.
A few days later I was followed by Dionne Warwick.

YouTube video by cubelog Kevin Eldon's Amish Sex Pistols side by side with Bill Grundy original

Of course we all love the Amish Bill Grundy interview, but it’s worth watching it alongside the original to see how impeccably it’s performed and produced.

youtu.be/vObRvdvHh5E?...

Donald Trump posting "STOP TALKING ABOUT EPSTEIN!!!!!" in all caps.

About as innocent as Tubbs shouting "WE DIDN'T BURN HIM!!" in The League Of Gentlemen.

Live Aid coverage coming from a white garden table and some folding chairs

These are my favourite bits of #liveaid. In 2025 the BBC host Glastonbury from a boutique backstage glade with fairy lights and an acoustic stage. In 1985 they hosted the biggest music event in the world from my dad's patio, just behind the rhubarb. Crushed Skol cans and Swingball just out of shot.

Ooh - thank you. Thats better already.

UK emergency alert to be tested on mobile phones for second time in September A test message will be sent to smartphones on 7 September, after a previous test revealed technical issues.

Reminder that if you're in the UK and have a burner phone for safety reasons make sure that it is *turned off* on Sunday 7th September during the emergency alert test. This is because it will override your sound settings and play an alarm even if your device is set to silent.

In case you missed it, here’s the footage from today’s vote in Congress on Trump’s tax bill.

Excerpt from the ‘house hunting’ montage in episode 6 of Ghosts Germany. Felix and Emma (the equivalent Mike and Alison characters) are standing in the lobby of a German city town house with an estate agent. Estate Agent: As I said the house is from the 1930s.

Emma looks into the living room and sees a uniformed Nazi officer ghost.

Felix looking at the estate agent after Emma has immediately left. The Nazi Officer ghost is still visible in the background. Felix: She really goes off vibes. Either it's right or it's not.

Me, looking at the press release for Ghosts Germany: I can see that they had to be careful in choosing the historical periods for the ghost regulars, but I wonder if they’ll touch on it?

Ghosts Germany:

[FIVE YEARS AGO]
ME: I'm writing a dystopian satire in which fascism has destroyed democracy and an American president who's a Russian asset is opening a concentration camp patrolled by alligators.

PUBLISHER: Ha ha, that's wild, but you'll need to dial it down a bit to make it more credible.

a man in a plaid shirt is playing a piano with the letter a on the top ALT: a man in a plaid shirt is playing a piano with the letter a on the top

The Prodigy's lighting technician:

#glastonbury

Frightened myself reading a book about Ted Bundy yesterday so when I walked back to the room at night I thought (drunkenly) “what’s the most off putting thing I can do to ward off any nearby murderers” so I started making farting noises with my mouth. Did it work? Well I’m still alive so who can say

footballer with Poundland James-Taylor on his shirt

me when you get your acoustic guitar out at a party I was up to that point enjoying

Ever wondered what a trumpet would sound like in jelly?

Well, am I about to answer your question...

This came up in my reels a few days ago & I haven't been able to stop thinking about it

Check out this 10 bedroom detached house for sale on Rightmove 10 bedroom detached house for sale in St. Martin, Looe, PL13 for £1,250,000. Marketed by Scott Parry Associates, Cornwall

You will never guess what the second photo in this listing is of (or why).

www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/1...

I’m starting to think you are not a real person, you’re the thoughts escaping from my head.

I’ve got my tickets - really looking forward to it!

Beautiful

Goodnight.

Just seen this video of a dog saying “Ello! Ello love!” in the style of an old cockney.

There’s a older woman out walking her dog and narrating everything she’s doing and the dog keeps looking up at her like he’s really listening. The dog’s called Roy

Cartoon by Stephen Collins for the Guardian, here's the script: [Scene is outside a SUPERMARKET with a SOFT PLASTICS RECYCLING BIN out the front. A MAN is approaching the bin with a bunch of plastic bags.] 1 BIN [the bin is a talking bin]: Hello sir MAN: Hi 2 MAN: Will you recycle these plastic bags please? 3 BIN: Well, I am a green bin! 4 MAN: And you’ll recycle them? BIN: Well, I do have a recycling logo on me! 5 MAN: Will you recycle all of them? BIN: Well, I will recycle some of your bags! 6 MAN: Will you recycle them. BIN: Well, I won't burn all of them Turkey! 7 MAN: That sounds like something you'd say if you were going to burn most of them in Turkey 8 BIN: I will recycle most of them in Turkey! MAN: Into what BIN: Energy! 9 MAN: Does that mean burning them in Turkey BIN: NOW LOOK HERE 10 [The BIN has now sprouted ARMS and has aggressively grabbed the MAN by the shirt, pulling his face close] BIN: You're going to put them BAGS in my SLOT, right MAN: Oh my God you’ve got arms 11 BIN: Your gonna put them bags in my slot… You're gonna feel good about it… Then you're gonna go in that supermarket and SHOP. 12 BIN: Understood? MAN: How did you get arms

Plastic bag recycling bin it converses with a man