reuben

you know those old AD&D critical hit optional rules where you rolled on a really elaborate table to see like, what limbs you lopped off

Zohran should create little schools everyone has to go to that teach you to still talk with a 1987 nyc dirtbag accent the way the Irish do with Gaelic

wrestling fans: buy all the Kevin Knight stock you can hold

Internet speak has gone too far. What do you mean 'it's giving tuesday'?

tumblr post: maniakminis quit your job join my band of mercenaries notactuallyherefor How's the dental? maniakminis you can have all the teeth you can carry 63,414 notes 包<

excited for @jordanshiveley.bsky.social’s sojourn into grimdark fantasy

I’m being serious when I say that fully 50% of my friend group had the “dark silhouette with only a menacingly toothy grin visible” profile picture for some forum or another. it has nerds in a chokehold. now it is being wielded by someone who can actually put nerds in a chokehold

Swerve has the same aesthetic concept of what looks cool as a 22 year old vampire larper and the physical conditioning of that larper’s character. this is why he’s the best pro wrestler in the world

You've got to admire Hillary Clinton's consistency over the years: She's always been out of touch with and contemptuous of the public, and she's always been more than eager to build her political ambitions on the blood of foreigners.

A person can make a lot of money this way, but the cost—or one of the costs, anyway—is that they must never move on from anything; the audience wants only the increasingly rough stuff that it wants, and is more loyal to that demand than to any individual provider or brand. This is an easy market to serve, and an impossible one to serve in a remotely dignified way. Imagine a child actor, bashing away for decades at the weak material that made them famous as they age from moppetry into bleak middle age; imagine, too, that the material in question all militates towards making it impossible for various classes of vulnerable people to exist in public. There is a living to be made doing this, but it seems very much a living hell. Still, sometimes you can catch a ride on a rich person's private plane en route to some conference or ceremony, and sometimes a mean old car dealer will hand you a trophy or a weird sword at some shitty banquet before you make a little speech about the bad thing that happened to you. That is the brass ring Samantha Fulnecky might yet grasp.

Very good @davidjroth.bsky.social on the Oklahoma essay grift.

defector.com/the-conserva...

“54%? Sounds way too high”

The Giants, as currently constructed, have to invest serious money in free agent pitching to be a competitive team during this current window. any alternative is either delusionally optimistic or just bullshit to try and fill seats

I guess the plan is to just hang around and be fake competitive, hoping to bounce into 87 wins, for as long as the dodgers are good. should only be another 25 years or so

atrocious loser stench wafting from 4th and King @sfgiants.com

no this is perfect, I had an opportunity to forget and lose my shit all over again

This is my version of “how the fuck did Eddie learn Master of Puppets so fast.” he had at most 26 days after the album came out, realistically 18 because he was a little busy after episode 1, and there’s no way Hawkins, Indiana got copies on release day

hey @grantbrisbee.bsky.social do you have your famous blue jays illustration somewhere. I need to explain to my wife why some totally normal birds at the bird feeder are rendering me incoherent

every fuckin day in the 21st century is a version of this

it should not be taken as a criticism of this comic, which is great, to say that it really should not have hit me as hard as it did

This article heavily implies that ICE is being used in a custody dispute to help Karoline Leavitt's brother get his son and have the mother locked up in ICE detention

I expect nothing less from the brilliant @amalelmohtar.com, but this is gorgeous and heartbreaking in every way. You all should read it.

Free Palestine.

"It is against the TOS to be talked into suicide by our LLM" is possibly the most evil tech bro thing I've ever read

“Okay fine I’ll work with hangman OH WHAT THE FUCK”

as someone whose wrestling experience for most of 2018-20 boiled down to “after Keith Lee is done winning all the belts Kyle O’Reilly should win all the belts” i would be over the fucking moon. I don’t know if it’ll ever happen, seems like long covid really did a number on Keith. but inshallah

Kyle is going to build Conglomeration 2 with the three least conglomerating men alive. they will put their various grudges and mental illnesses aside to agree that yeah, watching Hook get folded into a sort of origami sculpture is great

Just picture the ultimate babyface supergroup: a maximally enraged Hangman Page, Swerve in peak aura farming mode, Eddie Kingston out for specific revenge instead of general permanent revenge, and one cheerful Canadian grapsmeister tying it all together

AEW can address all possible storyline concerns with one simple move: put Kyle O‘Reilly in the main event scene to even the odds against the Opps

In a clip posted to Keir Starmer’s Instagram account, the prime minister can be seen reading with a young girl who points out she is on “page six-seven”, prompting him to start the dance move – a juggling like motion – that accompanies the infuriating craze.

[Werner Herzog voice]: you must never see this

•*• Funny-Presence4228 LPT: How to win as a guest and make new friends at a raging, alcohol fuelled party Food & Drink I'm getting older now, and some of my friends' kids have recently started college. I've been reliably told that alcohol-fuelled parties are still happening, and I shared this advice about how to make new friends and be a hero. One of them took my advice, and now has a new girlfriend because of this. The key to the following advice is an element of secrecy because the surprise makes it even better. Arrive late and sneak Lasagna into the party. I mean, taking a large, catering-sized tray of lasagna, along with a stack of paper plates and forks, to a raging house party. I used to do this back in college. I'd make one, sometimes two, in the afternoon in big foil trays before goin to a party. Show up around 10.30pm, and slip them into the oven without asking permission telling anyone. Medium heat for 30 minutes to warm it up. Get my paper plates out, and shout: "Lasagna is ready" to a packed house of drunk people, and hand them all a fork. It's cheaper than bringing beer, no clean-up, and I got laid pretty often. Important note: Make sure the person who owns the oven is the first in the line, and don't make a mess. Maybe make one meat and one vegan or something... This last point was less of a concern back in my day, but we must move with the times.

tfw you’re fucking the lasagna man for lasagna

he’s a James Harden fan. I have the blueprint