@elgringochorizo.bsky.social
Shitposter, musician, giver of no fuks. *Memes are 99% stolen. *formerly @GringoBrulee on the bird app
So….this rapture thing still happening? No?
23.09.2025 23:41 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0*watching a short film
"What are you doing, Step-Bro?!?!"
Me: This is totally unrealistic. Who directed this?
*E-Harmony commercial comes on
Actress 1: I'm looking for something real
Actress 2: I know someone's out there for me.
Wife: These women have never been stuck in a room with a guy like you for 5 hours.
Me: Don't sweet talk me.
this week in biscuits
23.03.2025 14:01 — 👍 26813 🔁 582 💬 796 📌 138Can someone tell me why it’s called boob sweat and not humidititties???
17.03.2025 21:51 — 👍 816 🔁 54 💬 80 📌 9
I'm a nill'ionaire philanthropist, but I sure can make some fucking memes.
*me reading a story to the wife about how I got nothing done on my day off
*notices wife is looking absolutely smoking
Wife: What? What are you staring at? You wanna fight or something?
Me:
Supercalifragilisticexpealidocioushitshow
03.03.2025 23:41 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0how long does it take for kindness to kill someone ffs.
02.03.2025 14:40 — 👍 432 🔁 90 💬 22 📌 1Things I’d never thought I’d see in my life.
The hot goth friends biddies.
John Cena turn heel.
A million dollars.
Well, one out of three ain’t bad….
Had a terrible day? Go to the gym and do cardio. Make it fucking worse.
28.02.2025 23:23 — 👍 5 🔁 2 💬 0 📌 0Therapist: What do you hope to accomplish with me?
Me: World Domination?
T: No
Me: Superpowers?
T: No
Me: Use the force?
T: No....
Me: I wanna be happy?
T: Finally. An achievable goal.
Me: By using the force?
T: Get out
Them: "What got you into Classical Music?"
Me: ...
Them: So, even tho your mom passed away, do you think she haunts you?
Me: She judges from beyond the Veil. She may be gone but a mother’s guilt is forever.
Looking forward to the ultimate weighted blanket, six feet of dirt piled on top of me.
23.02.2025 15:05 — 👍 498 🔁 167 💬 19 📌 2BlueSky is where all the kids who had their desks moved to the hallway hang out
17.02.2025 20:20 — 👍 258 🔁 45 💬 28 📌 6roses are red
holy fuck we’re all gonna die
*shaving beanbag
Wife: You know you’re not getting any for Valentine’s Day right?
Me: *midway holding my leg up
What day?
🎶One for the money
Two for the show
Three to get ready
Now cram a live grenade down my throat🎶
Wife: I'm pregnant.
Husband: Hi pregnant, l'm dad.
Wife: No, you're not.
Thirty days hath September,
April, June and November.
All the rest have thirty-one
Except for February which is just fucked up.
I hear the way to get Mayo to spoil real fast is to put on a Super Bowl Halftime show they don’t like.
10.02.2025 22:50 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Coworker: Are you gonna crash out today?
Me: When’s the last time I crashed out?
Coworker: Yesterday
Me: mother fu…
Beaker as Dua Lipa on the cover of Elle magazine.
just over here photoshopping muppets onto the cover of elle magazine: thread
07.02.2025 22:10 — 👍 6286 🔁 1344 💬 205 📌 263My mom once caught me masturbating and as punishment I couldn't have dessert for a week. But now as an adult I can have my cake and beat it too.
06.02.2025 22:56 — 👍 130 🔁 12 💬 4 📌 0*walks into gym after a hiatus
Them: Gringo! Welcome back. We thought you were dead.
Me: The dark side is a path to many ability some might consider unnatural.
I FUCKING HATE HIM
Ma’am this is a Wendy’s
