Owen

Product description for can opener, describing it as having "large knob and soft, comfortable handles"

Everything reminds me of him...

BBC headline: Gregg Wallace launches legal action against BBC

*Leggal

I was not expecting the Pop-it Wikipedia to be such a roller coaster.

so proud of my lesbian governor who is a lesbian (she's a lesbian btw)

It's funny how we say "a bug hit my windshield" when we are the ones going 70mph. I'll bet the bug's family describes it differently.

This comment on a girl asking for advice about her ugly dress is one of the funnier one-two punches I’ve seen on TikTok, shame it’s a brand new

1977: why would the bartender in star wars even care if some robots with artificial intelligence came into his bar

2025: ohhh ok

Photos of bottom of skillets, before and after. Before I cleaned it, and after I bought a new one.

Wondering how I did it?

I boiled water and added two tablespoons of vinegar, baking soda, and lemon juice.

I soaked it for 20 minutes, and after that, it looked the same, so I bought a brand new one.

An Oral-B login screen.

I have been logged out of my toothbrush.

a beautiful field of tulips all lined up in funky little rows of different colours

hey can you come back later, i'm defragging my tulip fields

Who knew a fish could express "What the fuck was that?" with such ease.

ominous silhouette of a horse through the glass at the front door

soon

A brown striped cat wearing a sign which reads 'Garage sale!! Follow me!'

Would you trust this cat?

10 year old me: I shall hide my diary inside my bed where no-one can ever read my innermost thoughts

34 year old me: I shall post to thousands of strangers about how I think my vagina might be haunted

guy who absolutely has not learned a lesson

They should make a second car horn as an "apology horn" for when you realize you shouldn't have honked or it was an accident.

Absolute belter @thornbridge.bsky.social

MARGARET SCRATCHER

the best tree in london

What if you’re so outrageously incompetent you get it done in a matter of minutes?

Jd Vance holding a snow cock and balls

A small gray dog struts across the street, wearing a pink tshirt and pink sunglasses

IMPORTANT: this dog I saw

Woman slams selfish paragliders who ‘made her think Hamas were invading Doncaster’

Possibly the greatest local news story Im going to see this year, and it’s only March

Spending the day making people irate on Facebook Marketplace by asking, “Is this item still available”

At a wedding shower where guests were asked to write a piece of marriage advice for the bride & groom on slips of paper. Thinking it was private, I wrote "fuck as much as humanly possible." After cake, the grandparents of the couple took turns reading the notes aloud.

Dear prudence headling: help! My husband enjoys sailing naked and drinking beers with gay men

Penelope in the Odyssey

Tweet from Florence Schechter reading people there is a penis museum in iceland but no vagina museum anywhere. who wants to start one with me?

Hey everyone guess what? IT'S OUR BIRTHDAY! We're eight years old today. And we've defied all odds against us and are still here to celebrate, educate and maybe eat some cake.

CEO: We need to come up with a brand name for these sticks of bread.

Guy who named the meatball: *takes deep breath