Sir Michael

I've given this some thought and I have concluded that no, there is not.

Easy. Simply print my webposting, give it to your brother and then ask him if you're on a horse

I have no idea how to figure this one out. Not least because I don't think horses keep diaries, which makes it much harder to check last night's entry.

I would advise you to spend time with your sisters and share stories about your upbringing and tell them you appreciate them and you're proud of them. Oh, wait. Did you mean about being on a horse? Because I don't know what to advise on that.

Always. I don't even truly consider them horses at all.

He might be trying to throw you off the scent

Of course. My best wishes to you and your brother, who may or may not be on a horse.

How to Tell if Your Brother is on a Horse 1. Look through your brother's bank statements and see if he has recently hired or purchased a horse. If he has, the chances of him now being on a horse just increased considerably. 2. Check where your brother's feet currently are in relation to the ground. If they're a few feet off the ground and separated by the width of a horse, there is a chance he might be on a horse. 3. Sneak into your brother's bedroom and read his diary. If last night's entry mentions that he's got a horseriding appointment today, there is a strong possibility that your brother is now on a horse. 4. Ask your brother if he'd mind you sitting directly behind him. If he says "no, there's enough room for both of us on this horse," that could be a sign that he is currently on a horse.

Want to know if your brother is on a horse or not? These are the signs to look for.

Thanks for remembering ❤️

I just want to have enough careers so that everyone stops making me be their dentist

Please refrain from questioning my methods as both a professional chef and therapist.

How dare you. This is completely over the line. I can see I've created a monster.

I can already tell that I'm going to need to combine a lesson in not self-sabotaging yourself with my delicious fettuccine alfredo recipe.

1. If you must
2. This will be answered later in my book, in the dessert section

Turkey, Spinach and Ricotta Lasagne Serves: 2-3 Preparation time: 10 minutes Cooking time: 20 minutes Ingredients: avocado oil, 1 small onion (chopped finely) 2-3 garlic cloves (chopped finely), 100g frozen spinach, 1 free-range egg (beaten), 5000g turkey mince, 100g ricotta, 200g lasagne sheets, 300ml tomato pasta sauce, 50g grated cheese, sea salt and black pepper 1. Begin to heat the tomato sauce in a saucepan on a low heat. 2. Add the avocado oil to a frying pan on high heat and cook the onions until translucent. 3. Next, add the garlic for 2 minutes and then add 5000g of turkey mince. 4. Next, ask yourself if the preceding instructions sound right. They don't, do they? 5000g of turkey mince is insane. And why are you cooking the sauce first? And do you really think you can make lasagne in 30 minutes? That's ridiculous. These are clearly not helpful instructions so why have you been following them? 5. Have you always been someone who blindly follows instructions from people who claim to know what they're doing? Do you think this stems from the relationship you had with one or both of your parents? Do you have a history of subjugating yourself to people you view as authority figures? Recommendation: Forget about making lasagne and work on your assertiveness instead. You are your own person but you're letting other people control your life. Make lasagne later. Start making the new you now.

Self-help books are popular. Cookbooks are popular. So if I can combine the two, I will undoubtedly become the most successful author of all-time. Here's my first recipe

I'm not saying they're for everyone but I do think they'll be a big hit among people who find normal shoes too light and comfortable.

This might be the clinching point actually. Like all decent people, I would NEVER do anything to interrupt a lovely game of Ladder Ham.

Thank you, friend. Nice to see you again too.

That's a good point. Would be great to see all our talented unscrewers finally getting more work.

This is the most sensible idea I've heard all day 👏

Not quite but it did manage a very creditable second place at the end of 2025 so 11th place fans are very excited about what the future might hold

I agree. The perfect sport is one in which that nobody can score any points, ever. It's not right to make some people feel less good at things than others.

Okay but there should also be minus scores in football because that seems to work quite well in golf. Any golfers who score better than -2 must transfer their extra minuses to Manchester United.

I believe in equality and if you're not able to score points, no-one should be. It's only fair.

That's a good point. If I find something that requires the exact same screws, basketball is going to change forever.

It's time to settle this age-old debate once and for all with a careful analysis of the facts

"You're not singing anymore," chant the City fans. "Of course not," the United fans respond. "We're resting our voices for choir practice later." "Oh yeah," the City fans sing. "We nearly forgot about that. See you there!" It's just so heartwarming!

The Manchester derby marks the most wholesome day in the Premier League season. These two cross-city rivals will both try their best to win but whoever loses, they're equally happy at seeing their lovable neighbours get the 3 points instead. "Yay for Manchester!" they'll say 💙❤️

Excellent point. Why are we constantly denying the parents of Premier League footballers the joy of a quiet, relaxing weekend? A good plan would be if all the Premier League teams joined the league your son plays in on Saturday mornings.

I would then walk out immediately, never to be seen again. My work would be complete.