Matthew West

They bring joy to millions* though.

*Of people who don't support them

Week? Someone's an optimist.

Live footage of 53 year old me being forced to deal with authenticator apps

Ok. I am going to guess.

Decent living conditions for poor people will discourage them from working hard?

If forced by the dead hand if the state to make buy to let properties habitable; landlords will be forced, forced, to evict tenants and then set fire to the property?

Better safe than sorry

Have you given the doorbell a seasonal coating of faecal matter?

I thought he was a free marketeer. Or was Yoda? Indivisible the four freedoms are.

Assessing the actual value of public sector infrastructure assets such as roads and death stars is notoriously tricky

Even when you are well aware of the news, this headline has a big oof factor.

I love a piece of nice lean steak 🎶
It's always quite the thrill
🎶and nowadays I always cook it
On my eponymous grill 🎶

Disappointed that the Radiohead one isn't an Argentinian tango to Idioteque

Not sure if I'm spending too much time on BlueSky

But surely, as someone who lives quite close to Sunderland, you should like them?

Griff Rhys-Jones tattoo?

I'm the best Russian roulette player they tell me. I don't know. that's what everyone says

Still a big fan of Superman II in this regard

I understand that purists eat the wax of a babybel

Fancy foreign cheese? I'm disappointed

Do you intersperse the slices of bread with pre sliced cheddar in the style of a Las Vegas croupier shuffling cards before consuming?

Could be introduced to deal with slow play

I like the way the referee restarts the bout after the wardrobe correction by giving each competitor a good slap on the arse.

I worked with a woman whose Forest supporting dad was expecting a boy to be named Brian. He hid his disappointment at having a girl by calling her Bryony

I would hedge my bets and change my name to Stanley Accrington, which is quite grand

After due consideration, I have decided that I don't like cricket anymore

Although the producers of Carry on at your Convenience might have sued

Could have been worse, he might have tried to shoe horn trade union membership.

Unsolicited Herr Flick pic

Thank you for your attention to this matter

Any fool knows that autism is stored in the balls

A thing of beauty