Andy Beckerman

Based on every "grown-up" film of the last 50 years, I really thought adulthood would be a string of dinner parties where people talk about their marriages and then one couple announces a divorce.

In years past, Hulu used to have a Black History Month section. I don’t know exactly what has changed in the world but this is all there is now. I guess, Happy Stronger Together Month, everyone!

The weekly Beginnings promo featuring a press photo of musician Julianna Barwick standing next to a tree and the Beginnings logo superimposed over it

Some distraction from dystopia with a brand-new episode of Beginnings...

What a delight to talk to Julianna Barwick on today's episode! The rush from making loops, majoring in photography, being an eternal optimist, living parallel lives + MORE!

🎧 tinyurl.com/BeginningsBa...

Most of the Left: The government is lying to you!

(except about the dangers of covid… in that case, we’re going to believe every word they say)

As much as I love David Lynch and the 8th episode of Twin Peaks: The Return in particular, I think we can all agree it would have been better like this:

We’re a year away from Dems sending out fundraising texts saying they’re working hard to make sure the Zyklon-B the government uses in their is organic and free of impurities.

A drawing by your friend on BlueSky, Pete Toms, of a group of smiling bugs surrounded by the text, “It hurts so bad when you step on us.”

8. Weiss's project is creating an Operation Paperclip for Epstein's cronies. Taking a group of discredited men and rehabilitating them as necessary pillars of system. Dershowitz and Peter Attia are the Wernher von Brauns of reactionary centrism.

A repurposed Garfield strip. If you are blind or have difficulty seeing, I promise you, it is not worth describing how I changed this comic. It's Liz and Jon on a date. Jon doesn't understand what a glory hole is. I've honestly said too much. You are dumber for having heard this description. I am sorry.

Has Garfield always been this odd or did something happen in the wake of Scott Adams death?

A special graphic for the 400th episode of Couples Therapy, A CAVALCAD3 OF STARS featuring cartoon heads of Naomi and Andy and cute pics of our guests Jeff Hiller, Nicole Byer, Tien Tran, Amber Ruffin and Caleb Hearon

SOME DISTRACTION FROM DESPAIR, yes folks, it's an ALL-NEW Couples Therapy!

Celebrating 400 eps with our third CAVALCAD3 OF STARS! One advice question each with some of our fav folks: @boomboomhiller.bsky.social, Nicole Byer, @amberruffin.bsky.social, Tien Tran & Caleb Hearon!

🔊 tinyurl.com/CTep400

I hear if enough people call his office, he’ll hold a press conference where he almost swears at ICE (“Stop it with this gosh darn silliness, ICE!”)

Josh...

Too many heist movies set all the sneaking around to cool jazz music. I wanna see someone crack a safe while a Stone Temple Pilots song plays in the background.

"The degree to which the Epstein e-mails confirm every conspiracy theory about the Ruling Class leaves me absolutely gobsmacked. It's as if for decades, nutters have been talking about how the wealthy control a secret clan of centaurs & we're all like, "Sure nutters, sure," and then one day you find an email from Sam Altman to Peter Thiel: "Klorbo is teaching me to hunt wyverns with a bow. His hooves are so shiny.""

I don't feel like figuring out how to make this fit the limit, so enjoy it in its excess

"The degree to which the Epstein e-mails confirm every conspiracy theory about the Ruling Class leaves me absolutely gobsmacked. It's as if for decades, nutters have been talking about how the wealthy control a secret clan of centaurs & we're all like, "Sure nutters, sure," and then one day you find an email from Sam Altman to Peter Thiel: "Klorbo is teaching me to hunt wyverns with a bow. His hooves are so shiny.""

I don't feel like figuring out how to make this fit the limit, so enjoy it in its excess

The weekly Beginnings promo graphic with a great picture of today's guest Elliott Kalan from, I'm assuming, his office, which features a poster from Guy Maddin's film Brand Upon the Brain! The Beginnings logo is superimposed over Elliott.

Some distraction from dystopia with a brand-new episode of Beginnings...

It's the 16th anniversary of Beginnings! @elliottkalan.bsky.social returns to talk the enshittification of Hollywood; ego, control issues & comedy writing; the TMNT farmhouse; legacy + MORE!

🎧 tinyurl.com/BeginningsKa...

Me: I mean, what does it fucking matter? America is fulfilling its destiny as a white supremacist wonderland ruled by cretins and pedophiles! The ruling class project John Foster Dulles began in the 1940s has at last reached its half-witted apotheosis!

Cashier: ... so... plastic then?

Grief is funny; sometimes after your cat dies, you break down crying just looking in the fridge, and sometimes after your husband is assassinated, the slow motion sound of a cash register cha-chinging echoes in your brain over and over for the rest of your life.

So, Germany 1940, was everyone just like, “Fuck it, I’m having strudel for dinner”?

yes we live in a “democracy” but we can’t actually defund ICE because you see they were once bestowed the Legitimacy Emeralds

The "infamous" picture of Nancy Pelosi kneeling in kente cloth with her KN95 half on with a photoshopped word balloon that says, "We're working hard to create fiscal year 2029 tax breaks for the families of people slain by ICE"

Every Dem sending me a fundraising text saying “Abolish ICE”, you missed the fucking boat, dipshit. We’ve been saying that for a decade, but you were too busy licking Bain Capital’s ass clean for a $5K donation to the DNC. “Prosecute & Imprison ICE” is the new lowest standard. Get on board or GTFO

Cover image for my essay Here Comes Tomorrow, borrowing from the Grant Morrison X-Men story. The image is of a Sentinel from that story, and the subtitle reads "Spare some change, mister?"

A photoshopped image of the Dairy Queen mascot Curly the Cone saying, "Abolish ICE and prosecute every single person that enabled them!"

Me write essay good that ask: What will it take for America to actually change? The answer might surprise you! (Unless you know me personally or have already read it or are psychic)

👀 theslowdystopia.substack.com/p/here-comes...

America answers the question, “What if an entire society had CTE?”

The Beginnings weekly graphic featuring the logo over a picture of this week's guest Jen Bender of the fantastic indie rock band Cusp

Some distraction from dystopia with a brand-new episode of Beginnings...

Nice talk with Jen Bender of Cusp! Embracing the chaos, leaving grad school, the hidden Freudian nature of the bat mitzvah theme, meaningful work and meaningful art + MORE!

🎧 tinyurl.com/BeginningsCusp

We're living through a remix of all the Nazi Germany hits, but if everyone involved were lumbering cretins with superball-sized frontal lobes:

-The Gestapo but staffed by mentally-disturbed simpletons
-Lebensraum formulated by a seething cadre of unhinged clods
-Wannsee Conference live at Kill Tony

A photoshopped old Looney Tunes cartoon panel with Uncle Sam teaching Porky Pig about American history, but I changed the captions to reflect reality. In this first panel, Uncle Sam wakes a dreaming Proky Pig by saying, "Hey you worthless fucker, wake up!"

In the second one, Uncle Sam says , "It's me, Uncle Sam, the spirit of America. And just like this country, I'm a mentally deranged rapist."

In the third one, Uncle Sam holds up a US History book to show Porky Pig, and says, "This book is written on the skin of the working poor. I was able to con those fucking chumps into paying for their own murders!"

Finally, Porky Pig reads the US History book for himself and says, "Is there a single page in this that isn't about genocide?"

It's crazy how political those old Looney Tunes Cartoons could get.

Donate to Support Jennifer Kelly’s battle against cancer., organized by Jennifer Kelly On December 25 (yes, Christmas), I was diagnosed with a large, aggressi… Jennifer Kelly needs your support for Support Jennifer Kelly’s battle against cancer.

Jennifer Kelly is facing a tough battle against cancer after her diagnosis on Christmas Day, and the costs are overwhelming. Please consider clicking the link below to donate or share it with others who might help. gofund.me/7a7486b6b

A lot of people are using the phrase "unspeakable horrors" to describe what's happening in America right now, as if ICE and MAGA are Lovecraftian beasts, and of course, by "Lovecraftian", I do mean "unrepentantly racist".