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this post saved my life

the government is trying to distract me from their occupation of major american cities by showing me women with beautiful asses and sadly it’s working

a t shirt that says “smol bean fucker”

the subway ad for the ai friend necklace, vandalized with “SCAB,” “FUCK THIS SHIT,” “If you need this you’re BORING!!!!” and “I WILL PUNCH YOU,” all clearly by different people

it’s so funny how every single one of the infinite subway ads for that evil AI friend necklace have been angrily vandalized just like this. i love new york

you remind me of this other undateable girl i know

humans still solo the whole lineup

a facetime call that starts with her shitting and then leads to her breaking up with you and then ends with her shitting ✅

i’m bisexual so i can say this

Just learned that one of you acted in a manner somewhat beneath yourself in a moment of weakness and insecurity and yes genuine pain. And that in that moment what should have been your problems became someone else’s problems? Considering how best to punish this good and hard

yeah babe this rave is great but these transgender lesbians have had a few too many tylenol if you know what i mean

they saw those OwO what’s this bullets and said we have GOT to get on top of this autism stuff

in all seriousness this song is sending me into psychosis

girl told me yesterday i’m one of the only people she knows who looks good making eye contact when i’m giving head… lesbian fall i will destroy you

the way i just got a spam political fundraising text and it’s for a guy my ex wife used to fuck when we were together…. #yep that’s #mylife

phew!!!

hey is it normal for having a crush to fill your blood with panic and your bones with sorrow or is there something wrong with me

"I just want to say, go birds, fuck ICE and free Palestine," "Hacks" star Hannah Einbinder at the #Emmys

new algernon cadwallader album in 2025???? we are so back

me and ash cut from the same cloth fr

log that looks like boobs

hmmmmmm i quite like this log 😳

i can’t believe that it’s likely that my “use gooner hypnosis on hyper online men to make them destroy the government” idea is maybe about to take off

to be fair…. bullets inscribed with “notices bulge owo what’s this” have been foretold by american culture for almost 2 decades

Soup (A single sunny side up egg on a plate, with some salt and pepper)

Soup of the day: Sunny side up egg

doing my favorite bedtime activity :) getting on tinder and swiping until i see a woman so beautiful i have to moan and stare at the wall until i fall asleep :)

the arc of my weight fluctuation is long but it bends towards thickness

i might sound high but i genuinely don’t know why people feel compelled to post/talk about whether or not something should have happened. it did happen it already happened. “omg that was bad i wouldn’t have done that.” okay. someone did it already. it is the past.