borat obama

Sorry but personally if a miniature horse woke me up from anesthesia by banging out nonsense on a miniature keyboard it would send me into a liminal space between life and death from which I would never return

don't talk to me till I've had my 7 am lasagna

@dungeonsanddads.bsky.social
Peachyville Horror? More like Peachyville Hearttrobs!!!
#dungeonsanddaddies #dndads #thepeachyvillehorror #trudytrout #kelseygrammar #tonycollette

this episode changed my vocabulary forever

You should be allowed to smoke a cigarette at the gym after doing weighted hip thrusts

imagine if oedipus and jocasta were really chill with all that and just kept dating

getting a cock tattoo that says “eppur si muove”

Before video games in the 50s if you were an awful American indoor boy you sat 3 inches in front of the TV and watched the same looping footage of cowboys on horseback for 8 hours in a row.

They trapped my in a salt circle and bound me in cold iron jerry

guys who are into hitler, school shootings, and weed must have a crazy day once a year

freud’s guide to improv comedy! and other short stories

the elevator to dog world has been summoned with the press of a button

peace out losers im going to Dog World

the next pope should also be the dalai lama

they should add microtransactions to wordle

confessions, by augustine powers

going to a restaurant i don’t work at and standing by the door and seating people in absurd places just to disrupt service

“can i fuck your boyfriend”
“no”
“really???”

I could easily defeat a gorilla that had been badly poisoned

When I see Yoda I think “that dude’s got a cloaca, no question”

“i’m going to pornhub that”

should have been at the club

i’ll have a tequila gatorade

“fire at will….”
….”
“are you mad at me?…”

I have pronounced "prolegomena" in ways you wouldn't believe.......

rebooting mr ed in modern times. he’s still a horse who talks but it’s the same horse. who is a ghost, of course, of course.

(telling my buddy tyrannis that I like his semper) sick [sic] semper, tyrannis!

beating my dentist at his own game: talking all throughout the procedure, regardless of how full of hands my mouth is

Fuck sour marry cream and onion kill chips

Be the getting fucked in the ass you wish to see in the world