Matt Ufford

wet guy

Woo and Ohtani are Handsome Leading Men, which is an established starting pitcher archetype, but not on my preferred list

correct. the wettest team in baseball

the Tigers have too many pitchers who are shaped like cops. these are the acceptable pitcher styles:

∙ giraffe guy with patchy facial hair
∙ sunken-eyed IT-looking dude
∙ bad hair + bad facial hair + demonic splitter
∙ 19th century dilettante
∙ wet guy

I’m a cartophile! Is that a crime?!?

The most fundamental political debate of our time: You are integrated into and have responsibility for our complex, imperfect society vs. Nuh-uh.

take this post down

Described in skeet

Described in skeet

Fan wearing a "Dump Here" jersey with 61 caught Cal's HR 🔥

Immediately changes into an identical 62 jersey

These guys are so vulnerable to defecting to Chicago

first the milky iced coffee and now this. it's always your wife's fault huh

ME: sorry I can't make this meeting, I'm... uh, sick.
BOSS: Oh no, what's wrong?
ME: I've got ... [*looking at MARINERS jerseys*] scurvy.
BOSS: What? Are you on a boat?
ME: in a way
BOSS: ...
ME: rain delay I can make it

a sports film that acknowledges it was originally meant to be a toothless PR-friendly "doc" and actually documents the hard pivot to losing access and encountering hostility when reality took a turn would be the first good one of these

as they get older, the bedtime anger gets replaced with homework anger. baby we’re on two-a-days for years

literally handing one their socks now

I have been living this tweet almost every weekday for roughly eight years now. I have survived their tics and peccadillos only to see them develop new ones. there is not a method or chart I haven’t tried to end this madness.

no solution, no reinforcements. my youngest is nine.

- game-winning QB picked his nose on national TV

STUMBLEROOSKI

I love the fact that football is determined to give us so much comedy this year

That's allegedly when the situation became violent: P. T. realized things had escalated, and he was now in physical danger, so he reached into his pocket and grabbed his pepper spray and sprayed Mr. Sanchez in the face. P. T. said that the pepper spray appeared to have an effect on Mr. Sanchez for a moment, but Mr. Sanchez wiped his face and again advanced towards P. T. P. T. thought "this guy is trying to kill me" so he pulled his knife and when Mr. Sanchez came at him, P. T. went at Mr. Sanchez and struck him two or three times with the knife. P. T. said he found himself flying back into the dumpster and falling onto the pallets on the ground. Sanchez allegedly kept striking or punching P.T. until the man got up and stabbed him one more time, at which point Sanchez looked shocked and ran away in an alley. He was later found at Loughmiller's Pub and Eatery, a nearby bar.

oh, Mark Sanchez was DRUNK drunk
www.yahoo.com/sports/nfl/b...

this is so sweet

ngl this one hurts

(police chief voice) Torkelson! Dingler! In my office, now!

George Kirby pitched awesome for a guy with tuberculosis

Roseate spoonbills will splash their wings through the water as part of their beauty routine. Here's one doing so mid-splash, facing straight ahead towards the camera. I really love this shot. #birds

I did! My first time. S-tier birding spot.

the best city in America roughly 4 days per year

note-perfect show-stopper of a day in Chicago. the kind that tricks high school kids into going to college here

watched this in a cab on the way to go birding

really hitting that deep pool of HBO subscribers who got the service to watch CNN