C 🦪🦞🐚🦀

Ciattarelli who rarely ever took advice
Now I'm guilt-stricken, sobbin', with my head on the floor
Stoppin' baby's breath and a shoe full of rice, now

It is a trade secret that can’t be disclosed, but the astute observer would note all the time booked by Olive Garden at the Argonne laboratory particle accelerators just before the menu is released.

Sadness

I am so disappointed you didn’t like London

That time my coworker, a Mets fan, told me the Yankees buy their players🤣

The entire transcript of my dissertation defense:

The Trump administration plans to eliminate the EPA’s scientific research arm and lay off more than 1,000 chemists, biologists, and other scientists.

@cleanairmoms.bsky.social

Trump Administration Aims to Eliminate E.P.A.’s Scientific Research Arm (Gift Article) More than 1,000 chemists, biologists and other scientists could be laid off under a plan to dismantle the Office of Research and Development.

The Office of Research & Development is the scientific body of the EPA, that conducts the research used in the agency’s regulations and community efforts. It supports all of the work that EPA does - not just regs @nytimes.com #nytimes #savescience

Gift link: tinyurl.com/f7c8nbye

Literal lol in the AA lounge at PHL just now, where the (kind) woman at the front desk told me the “kitchen is being refurbished.” Ma’am, respectfully, that’s the nicest and most deceptive way I’ve heard someone say “shut down by the health inspector this week”

I don’t do New Year’s resolutions; I do travel resolutions. Two years ago, I resolved to go to Germany and Chile: bam. 2024: to see the Northern Lights (October) & Ireland (leaving Dublin now). For 2025, here’s looking at you, Tierra del Fuego. Bottom of the world, top of my list❤️✈️🌍

#travelgoals

My point still being… to me that isn’t $700m-worthy, and even respective of Ohtani’s injuries doesn’t put them on par with each other

Like, at least Shohei has the longevity and stats to justify it

Totally fair points. I’m thinking about when he went to SD. He was pretty meh! Dr. Google just confirmed for me his BA was .235; not $700m-worthy, IMO. I feel like there are way better ways to spend that kind of cash(man). And who wouldn’t look like a million bucks following Judge? All rise❤️🙌

I hate to say this, but I feel like the only Yankees fan who doesn’t love Soto. He’s great in walk-years; who isn’t? Didn’t seem to carry through in regular years with his past contracts. I’d try my damnedest to be a hell of a player, too, if $700m were on the line

TIL there are ICD-10 codes for
* Relationship issues w in-laws
* being struck by a parrot
* running into a street sign
* ALLIGATOR

h/t @rappazzo.bsky.social

The worst is when my husband picks a fight with or dumps me in my sleep. When the dream wakes me up, that’s all I actually can be mad about. Not even at him. Goddammit

What’s up?
Idk, living my best life. You?

Convos with my dogs. They’re a bit one-sided

You know “do the curtains match the drapes”, but what about “does the rug match the walls”?

… but for real. Ochre walls + grey-blue rug?

Welcome to #bluesky, #swifties

Goats addicted to human urine airlifted out of national park Mountain goats living in the Olympic National Park are now being removed because they have developed a strong appetite for human pee.

Roses are red
Fires start with a spark

Dear @nytimes.com, this is why Oxford commas are important

I want to become a probate attorney just so I can open a practice called Thy Will Be Done

Go into public health, they said. You’ll be helping people. You definitely won’t have to re-litigate if eating poop is bad, they told me.

As am I, my fellow academician. As am I.

As a BA, MPPA grad of UMass… this article is 10000% not wrong.

Also: ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod, one of the main characters is named ADAM MORGAN.

FUCK. THAT. SHIT. UP. Maybe the main characters should have lived in “Silver Springs”

#worstbookeverpublished #icant #dc #wtf

I didn’t start reading reviews of The Perfect Marriage until the author started referring to the “State of Virginia”, and talking about “Pineapple & Pearls” (spoiler alert, VA is a commonwealth, and it’s PineappleS & Pearls). At least I didn’t buy it🤣
#book #jenevarose #library #awfulbook #justdont