jordy lemon

boomer art is rich with symbolism, with several ideograms - guitar, hot rod, woman in bikini - that exist to express differing shades of badassness

as i grew hungrier, my refrigerator became interesting as fuck

calling the donkeys "ass." calling the chickens "ass." calling the pigs "ass." i hate this farm

What if we all pulled out the weeds growing around our hearts

that's right ankylosaurus. as you can see, i do not have testicles. where's your secret weapon now

The hardest part about eating bugs, for me personally, has been trying to implement my grand plan to force every Christian man in America to abandon their blonde wife and perfect white kids to live in a Japanese style pod apartment where I can secretly milk their blood and turn them into soy cucks

accidentally posted #fucktrump in the communist group chat instead of the middle-age mom group chat 😔

when the laser hair removal technician turns the laser up to maximum and tries to fucking kill you

my name is Grug Grugcel and i love you.

All my favourite things are wall mounted. My tv, the light fixtures, my possessed paintings, all the enemies I’ve had beheaded and preserved..

literally got hit by a car less than 1 minute after making this post

wrote this on a bike

i fucking hate scooters !!! ride a bike dipshit !!!!

and bitch im spiking the punch at club bacteria

inside of nostrils is club bacteria …. more news at 6

The problem with that "First they came for" poem is it makes a lot of unlikely assumptions. For example it assumes they would ever come for me

The cow is a soft, mild creature, like the mist.

true

just found a copy of Unc's manifesto... Oh UNC!! Come on Unc

a composition in fuzzy felt by a two year old. fuzzy felt composition of a farmyard scene by a thirty nine year old

i saw the way the grains of rice spilled onto the counter … added their orientations and positions … sensed the way the grass bent under the will of the wind…. it will be an autistic train girl spring i feel it

going to the apothecary (jewish deli) and purchasing holistic medicine (stinky fish) so i can ritualistically heal myself (eat a stinky fish bagel on a nice day)

God in His great wisdom placed the dick and balls at thorn and bramble level and made them soft as a mollusc outside it's shell

yeahhh bitches not on the same level of bountiful as me . horn of plenty type shit . cornucopia.

just had the kinda sleep where u wake up with a sock missing and ur covered in green goo

Heterosexuality is really the most vulnerable sexual orientation in the world. In human history, electric shock, detention, family coercion, campus and workplace bullying cannot change homosexuality into heterosexuality, but heterosexuality can become homosexuality by looking at the relevant information and movies about homosexuality.

The Chinese internet is merciless 😭😭

they got me teaching spinach how to send a email in the lab iiiiii dont know how ethical this is i just got here

important call

how it feels to finally find a bunch of cookies in the insomnia cookies dumpster after having tried and failed many times prior