Jerry 🌙

ain’t a zombie but tryin to get some brain

this pic that's saved in my gallery is worryingly getting a lot of use lately

we're in such an unserious times

who up washin they rice ?!

growing up as a boy i was only taught guy things like beer, boobs, and the Daytona 500

don’t ask me for anything today, i’m hitting low dice rolls and fumbling everything

cat in lap ✅
radiohead playing ✅
yup it’s peak

NOT ON MY FACE DUDE

I'm so bad with anything gross, idk why but having it in my hand makes me feel like it's in my mouth 😭😭

I suffer with a voice in my head that says "who gives a shit" every time I think about sharing anything ever

gonna cease to exist once i get home from work 😵‍💫 like no one is gonna pull me off of my bed

I don’t think I’ll ever beat the allegations that everyone thinks I’m gay when they first meet me

hello bathroom floor my ol friend

why does everyone say i have an combustion engine? my engine is still intact 😵‍💫

Your password is required to enable Touch ID.

just say you hate me

farted with airpods in. i thought it was quiet till my co worker taps my shoulder and says “it’s gonna itch when it dries” 🥲

ill spend money on in-game skins but wont spend $5 on some new socks. almost all my socks have holes in them and i hate it so much but im STUPID and refuse to spend money on socks

got a free day today, gonna aimlessly wonder my local half price books

I bet doom scroll meant something way cooler in the middle ages.

gonna buy a huge cheese wheel n ship it to my friend as a prank

Apple Music on discord or else I riot

gaining the squirrels trust so i can do jell-o shots with them

#treesoutforsanta

comatose is the perfect vacation for me rn

I showed u my music, answer me

my friends are the best family I could ask for 🫶🏼

so sad to be at work when it’s raining, i could of been at home :(

passed out at 4am last night, woke up at 9am to a bright ass room realizing I forgot to close my curtains 😭😭

I get the beef with rocko, I'll never switch on my boy Elmo !!