Brian Haas

The kills are definitely top notch even if I find the whole thing a bit mean spirited. There is another reboot coming out this weekend from a director I like that my industry friends have already told me is pretty fun. Got my fingers crossed for that. In the meantime this is an ok primer.

On Tubi

Now Watching: Silent Night

A small town sheriff desperately searches for a killer Santa who is picking off the citizens one by one. The “big budget reimagining” is for sure the most capital invested invested into anything in this series.

And I would like to point out that they yet again did not spend five nights at Freddy’s in the movie. Of course this is an enormous hit so I’m sure there is another sequel coming soon. Oh joy. Nearly unwatchable.

Now Watching: Five Night’s At Freddy’s 2

The animatronics from the original are back! That’s it. That’s the entire story. Incoherent and bumbling, this answers the question no one was asking, “Can they make this series worse”? There isn’t a story. Or a semblance of a plot. Or logic of any kind.

It’s nice to see the person behind that incredible piece of art even if it’s just a glimpse. The stories are funny, tender and affecting. It’s so apparent what a void he left behind. Sad and beautiful, much like Buckley’s life. Very highly recommended.

On HBO Max

Now Watching: It’s Never Over, Jeff Buckley

Exclusive footage, voicemails and first hand accounts from his closest friends paint a picture of Jeff Buckley that the world has never before seen. There are few artists as tragic as Buckley. An ethereal voice. A perfect first album. Gone at just 30.

The twist is pretty obvious but that doesn’t make it any less fun. Not to mention, this movie is super duper horny, even for this already super duper horny series. Needless to say, it’s brilliant. It’s my second favorite of the series behind only part 2. An annual rewatch.

On Tubi

Now Watching: Silent Night Deadly Night 5: The Toy Maker

An elderly toymaker and his son make toys that are deadly to their customers. Preposterously complicated & batshit insane, this is a wonderful brainless delight. The toys don’t feel threatening even when completely suspending your disbelief.

Christmas also seems like an afterthought here which is a bit off for this series. Not the worst installment of the series but also not one I revisit very often.

On Tubi

Leaving the killer Santa behind, this movie isn’t very good but it is very watchable because it’s so fucking weird. Lots of body horror and strange insects and a very game Clint Howard who I like to pretend is the same Ricky from the first three movies even though there is no real connection.

Now Watching: Silent Night Deadly Night 4: Initiation

A reporter investigating a bizarre suicide finds herself mixed up with a cult of witches looking for a sacrifice for their ceremony.

The probably least connected to Christmas of the whole series.

On Tubi

I still don’t really understand how this connects to the previous films but a game Bill Mosley wears this fucking thing on his head the entire movie so it’s not exactly unwatchable. Shot in 4:3 aspect ratio for some reasob so it feels like an old TV movie.

Now Watching: Silent Night Deadly Night 3: Better Watch Out

A blind woman has a psychic connection with a long comatose Ricky who is awakened after being shot multiple times in the previous film. So I’ve seen this movie probably a half dozen times. It’s by far the worst film in the series.

Eric Freeman gives the performance of a lifetime as the grown up Ricky. One of my favorite yearly revisits.

On Night Flight

Now Watching: Silent Night Deadly Night Part 2

Ricky recounts the events of the first film while adding his own chapter to the story. It’s time for one of the most festive moments of the entire year! Garbage Day! I like the original but I love part 2. It’s like two movies for the price of one.

Part 2 and part 5 are perennial watches but I’m gonna watch the whole thing this year in honor of the reboot dropping next Friday. Good stuff.

On Night Flight Plus

Thank goodness everyone lost their shit back in 1984 so the SNDN franchise could be born. The entire series is fun to watch even when they aren’t particularly good.

Now Watching: Silent Night Deadly Night

An orphan who witnessed his parents being murdered by a man dressed like Santa has a psychotic break from reality when he is recruited to play Saint Nick for the toy store he works for.

As a 50 year old fan now waiting 40 years for my team to win again, how the fuck could you ever do this? That’s how good that team was. They would not be denied. Highly recommended.

On HBO Max

This is a really cute and well paced documentary about the most bat shit crazy thing any sports team ever did, writing a song about how they were going to win a championship and then doing it. As a kid I didn’t even think twice about this song.

Now Watching: The Shuffle

The greatest team of all time came together to make the greatest rap proclamation of all time: The 1985 Bears were not here to start no trouble, they were just here to do The Super Bowl Shuffle.

Shelley Winters played this sort of role a bunch of times later in her career but this might be the most enjoyable version. A campy good time.

On Prime

Now Watching: Whoever Slew Auntie Roo

A deranged widow becomes obsessed with an orphan who resembles her dead daughter. A mix of the Hansel and Gretel fairy tale and psycho biddy movie, this is a fun Christmas comedy with a dark sense of humor.

This is an absolute classic with a great slate of banger songs. I’ve always been surprised this isn’t a bigger seasonal movie and love turning more people on to it every years. Highly recommended.

On Hoopla

Now Watching: Anna And The Apocalypse

Anna and her friends must fight to survive when her small town is threatened by a zombie apocalypse at Christmas time. I don’t watch movies out of season so I feel like it’s important to start the holidays out right.

Katie Holmes didn’t get a lot of flashy roles in movies but she really shines here as the conflicted daughter. One of the best Thanksgiving movies by far. Really good stuff.

On Hoopla

Now Watching: Pieces Of April

A headstrong young woman must confront her troubled relationship with her mom after finding out her mother is dying of cancer. Bittersweet but hopeful, this deals with the frosty relationships we have with family & trying to bridge the gaps as best as we are equipped.

He has perspective on what he did and why he did it. And unlike all his PED contemporaries in baseball, he’s actually made it through to the other side and is still a part of the game that I believe he really does love. A complicated and very interesting watch.

On HBO Max

Now Watching: Alex Vs ARod

From talented kid to legitimate superstar to one of the most polarizing sports figures of all time, Alex Rodriguez frankly discusses it all. It’s hard to feel sorry for Rodriguez about anything he went thru but it also feels like he has changed and grown as a person.