Brittz0rz🧋

An ICE employee was among 16 men arrested after trying to solicit a minor for sex in Bloomington, Minnesota, police say

"When he was arrested, he said, 'I'm ICE, boys,'" Bloomington Police Chief Booker Hodges said during a press conference. "Well, unfortunately for him, we locked him up."

Talk about saying the quiet part out loud... "I can only imagine being a doctor to get sexually titillated!" Ugh.

I'd probably initially respond favorably to this, on the off chance it was a shitpost and I might make a new friend in someone deeply unserious and bizarre. The interaction after that would determine very quickly where things would head. Probably great disappointment and a blocking.

Wow! A drink I can double-not-give-a-fuck-about!

LMAOOO it must think those collar points are nipples

Real

*immediately halts nonsense*

But... But... ...my nonsense...

“The Fall Of Icarus”: You Have Never Seen An Astrophotography Picture Like This! This is not photoshopped. That’s really a person falling in front of the Sun.

@rebelpiper.bsky.social, if you haven't seen this, you need to!
www.iflscience.com/the-fall-of-...

Uh

this is

enormous

nocontractnocoffee.org
Y'all know I've spent plenty of money at Starbucks. Not now, not until they deserve it from me again!

Simultaneous AI psychosis + religious psychosis speedrun

I guess this is how I find out I'm a man. If only all the doctors who have kept me from killing myself over the years had just informed me that I couldn't possibly be a woman!

God damn.

I mean, bro has a point 😂

If you end up taking a strict lid-down approach, might I recommend the mood seat upon which you can imprint your entire ass and balls? Bonus: cat pawprints

I genuinely think he made that shit up on the spot and was like "brilliant, JD. Swish."

I guffawed

You will be missed

Me finding out at the doctor that I'm not 5'6" anymore, but now consistently 5'5.75". I'm 39, I shouldn't be shrinking already.

I'll be gleefully filling last year's reusable red cup with non-Starbucks coffee throughout this.👍

a bald man in a suit and white shirt is sitting in a chair with his fist in the air . ALT: a bald man in a suit and white shirt is sitting in a chair with his fist in the air .

THE BULLET

Having an endoscopy early next month! Now taking suggestions on things to swallow just to give 'em a scare.

Is this not the sweetest little family of rotting jack-o'-lanterns you've ever seen? Grammy, Granddad, Mom, and Little Joe

NEW! EDIBLE SILT!

Brown notes that the Ghislaine Maxwell's case was still active when Biden was president, and he wouldn't have wanted to mess that up with a premature release of documents.

Journalist Julie Brown, an expert on the Epstein scandal, answers a question you may have about why Biden didn't release the Epstein files.

"Actually, he wasn't a car thief, he was a truck thief. There's a difference, I think, between a truck and a car."

Aside from her disgusting splitting of hairs to distract from the issue, "Barely legal" does not include 15, Megyn. 18 year olds are called "barely legal." 15 year olds, very, very clearly, are not in the "legal" category. They're out here making distinctions without differences, as always.

For a party that's always claimed they don't want America to become China, they're doing a fine job of advocating for being China