Hot-Bones.bsky.social

II’m at a restaurant and they’re singing their own happy birthday song. I thought we killed that tradition during quarantine. I’m gonna have to release a stronger plague.

Wow!

And now I proudly present to you, "The Best of Bert" featuring Frank Oz as Bert.

#Bert #SesameStreet #TheMuppets #Muppets

I haven’t heard anything about any evil twins in a while. Do people not have twins anymore, or have they finally figured out how to make both twins good?

I love Daylight Savings. We should set the clocks backwards every night.

I can't let an ozymandias thread go by without reminding people of the all star of ozymandias edits. Can't find the original poster for attribution, tag in if you know.

PaRappa the Rapper voice:

I’ve said it before but it bears repeating: the two most important skills a person can have are pooping and peeing. If you don’t know how to do those, you may as well go back to kindergarten!

Five guys enter, 1 burger leaves

I’ve been too scared to talk about baseball ever since I was traumatized by that Abbot & Costello show.

YOU HEARD THEM

I've made this scale to help people out during this holiday season

Soldiers at the Bass Pro Shops pyramid in Memphis, TN.

> It is 2025 BC. I am a soldier from one of the outlying provinces called to defend the pyramid in Memphis

> It is 2025 AD. I am a soldier from one of the outlying provinces called to defend the pyramid in Memphis

Just found out I’m on the FBI Watch Later list.

It’s been like six months, I don’t think they’re gonna watch me.

You’ve gone too far. Think of the children.

this is, hands down, the best video I've seen on men's influencer content and it's not close either

An adorable raccoon.

Don’t call it ‘china’ unless it comes from the China region of China. Otherwise it’s ‘sparkling porcelain’

a devious-looking white weasel peeks from behind a tree

yes... ha ha ha... YES!!

You gotta watch at least one horror movie every week. It’s important to jeebies at a healthy level of heeby. #SpookyScaryHealthAdvice

Until they appoint a new Pope all sins don’t count. So if you want to covet anything, do it now.

Gathering all of the guys named Christopher so we can decide once and for all who is the Christophest.

Why don’t people write songs about splish-splashing in the bath anymore?

Rodney Dangerfield doing stand up

I get no respect. I downloaded Facebook the other day, and it asked permission to turn my camera *off*

This is also why I never write my own name down on anything. You never know what’s a death note these days.