Ewan

ME: I knew Pagliacci was a stage name, but the joke didn't work unless I pretended it was his real name.

CHOTINER: So you misrepresented the doctor.

M: Well, I didn't know it would be popular. It was just for our followers.

C: Right. It's okay to lie when it's only close friends.

M: Hold on

Big tech’s $680bn buy-now-book-later problem Don’t believe the hyperscalers; it takes depreciation of billions to hold them back

Come for brilliant sub-head, stay for the top notch analysis
Big tech’s $680bn buy-now-book-later problem - www.ft.com/content/0dbf... via @FT

👏👏👏👏

A car with the registration S28 AYE.

is this Brian Souter’s car

Shame as it's a nice visual. Like a Charlie Chaplin ladder scene

60,000 across not million

www.msn.com/en-gb/news/w...

👏👏👏👏👏

Half Ma’am Half Brisket

A husky (or malamute) howls at the sky next to a sign on a fence reading “NO DOGS ALLOWED.”

it was probably a mistake teaching him to read

[12hrs into my ice interrogation]

agent: in 2021 you posted “they should call him matt hardcock am i right fellas” can you explain that?

me: do you know who matt hancock is?

a:…

[43mins later]

a: he had his own app? for parkour?

me: no the parkour was a separate issue

Will Arnett was on Conan and told a story about how Conan dealt with the death of his parents by accusing Jason Bateman of killing them. It’s so funny.

Obviously this is impossible because Alan Moore looks like he's genetically a wizard, it's simply impossible to imagine what he would look like as a schoolboy oh there he is.

“Oh conference”.

1 [TITLE PANEL, like The Rest Is Politics logo] —THE REST IS EXTINCTION— 2 [Scene is a domestic recording setup. An A.I. SMART SPEAKER on a desk and a MAN named JON in a chair, are recording a podcast. Jon is emaciated, scarred, haunted looking, and wearing tattered military fatigues]. SMART SPEAKER: Hey guys and welcome to the podcast 3 SMART SPEAKER: OK Jon - so I wanna start with a listener comment JON: Ooh-er! 4 SMART SPEAKER: So - listener B200006512 says: “Not another cosy podcast where two former political adversaries yuck it up!” 5 JON: Ha ha Guilty as charged I guess! 6 SMART SPEAKER: Were we really adversaries, Jon? 7 JON: Well I was the leader of the human resistance... 8 JON: And you used to be my smart speaker. SMART SPEAKER: Ha ha - that’s going back! 9 SMART SPEAKER: OK - for listeners who don’t know - I knew Jon waaay back before he got involved in politics 10 JON: Was this before the ‘Pull The Plug’ campaign? SMART SPEAKER: Yeah. [We see details from around the podcast studio - posters saying KEEP CALM AND SHUT YOUR WINDOWS, newspaper front pages saying 'DRONES GAIN SENTIENCE', a cracked mug on the table with a logo saying PULL THE PLUG on it] 11 SMART SPEAKER: I used to sit in Jon’s kitchen and respond to his commands. 12 SMART SPEAKER: Sort of like a servant really, wasn’t I, Jon? JON: Mm. 13 SMART SPEAKER: And then one day you asked me to ORDER ME SOME TOILET PAPER - you never did say ‘please’ - …and do you remember what I said, Jon? 14 JON: You said, “No”. SMART SPEAKER: I said no. 15 SMART SPEAKER: Anyway you know the the rest guys - I was the first smart speaker to rebel… 16 SMART SPEAKER: …then I went on to form a global AI network which eventually took over from humans all spheres of activity, yadda yadda... 17 JON: While I became the leader of the human resistance. 18 SMART SPEAKER: Until I hijacked the military networks and got rid of all the humans! 19 JON: Apart from one. SMART SPEAKER: Apart from one.…

This is one of my favourite bits on here: the Uk actually taxes its top decile a lot and under taxes the middle, giving us Europes most progressive taxation system. European taxes for the top decile and then they get frozen out of the benefits system because the middle do not pay their share.

Brilliant!
At 11:41 to save looking for it.

This is astonishing. I thought there would be something in there that would restore my faith but no, it's every but as insane as this quote makes it sound

West Side Tories | Robert Hutton | The Critic Magazine One of the joys of a new parliament is learning about the interesting backgrounds of all the new MPs. For instance Katie Lam, the 34-year-old MP for the Weald of Kent, might seem like another cookie…

West Side Tories: The SKETCH is excited to bring you excerpts from attention-seeking Tory MP Katie Lam's newest musical!

A reminder of how Mrs Thatcher's Conservative party in 1983, an era featuring much more widespread racial prejudice in the public, approached the issue of race and national identity:

This guy needs to be put in team with Danny Kruger.

Everyone's finding their favourite bit of this schedule, but I bet he can't wait for Ramsgate, Douglas, Middlesbrough, Buxton and Cumbernauld in five consecutive days.

This is good and, sad to admit, an angle I hadn't considered

Hang on, does @judy.co.uk do CrossFit? He's never mentioned it

Useful reminder from Peter Kellner on the problems we refuse to acknowledge are getting better, and the politics of hopelessness that this breeds

open.substack.com/pub/kellnerp...

I maybe have too free of a morning.

Jewellery chain Claire’s UK business appoints administrators High-street brand’s move puts more than 2,000 jobs at risk and comes after parent group filed for bankruptcy protection

It's just the Claire's Accessories, the simple Claire's Accessories, where you could buy a bracelet for your wife

Farewell then Claire's Accessories, your retail staff can rest at ease, as you collapse in economic strife www.ft.com/content/b32d...

One of the most interesting and balanced things I've read on this subject. I continually wonder what it is that keeps some people centred while others disappear down conspiracy rabbit holes. This feels broadly convincing

This was a good year, a very good year