Squeaky Parrot

Haha you can see how often I’m on this app though.

😬

How dare you?

A joke post stole my truck
and took my dog
and kicked my mom
and took candy from a baby
and broke into my house
and made my cats and my wife love it more than me.

Canceled! Block’d!

FROWNED AT!

Photo of a fluffy white cat sleeping in my lap. You can see my arm under her with her sleeping face pressed against a tattoo of herself.

People have told me that my tattoo of Francie is upside down, but I specifically wanted it in that spot with that orientation because we sit like this for hours every day. No regrets whatsoever for my “upside down” tattoo! 🤷🏻‍♀️

OKAY BUT LOOK AT HOW CUTE HE IS

And I bet I'd love your naked torso just as much as I love him.

... that... sounded less weird in my head.

eloquence is fucking overrated <3

Whenever my partners have dirty glasses, I clean them because they both dislike the feeling of the cleaning cloth.

I also loathe that feeling, but I love them more.

I am a flying flaming homosexual.

But I would absolutely give that man the best gargling I can, simply in thanks for his service to the world.

move over on that watch list, I think it's gonna be a long one.

I think we will get there. Folks are still getting their sea legs. Or Sky legs? Sky wings?

We just gotta start more conversations and post more shitposts!

Hi!

Time for a rousing game of fart-roulette!

Was the food good at least?

If you want to feel a weird nostalgic vibe with an undercurrent of hate, listen to the original Axel F!

the song for the title character of the 1984 cinematic masterpiece, Beverly Hills Cop

The soundtrack is a bop, but that damn frog needed to be catapulted far away for ruining it.

You are a villain!

Bsky, I can see the delights in a thumbnail when I hit reply, but I gotta go enable mature content on the website?! No! Just give me the smut! *grabby hands*

That’s a quality cat you got there.

RIP to the sentence “Here, let me Google that for you,” the single most useful clapback of the 00s and 10s, killed by Google becoming absolutely useless for discovering any correct information whatsoever

I need more news reaction friends. I don’t have the brains to give in-depth analysis of why I find an article fascinating or funny or what have you, but I need others to also look at this thing I read and react to it as well.