Mason Royal

God, your strongest soldier needs some tums and maybe a ginger ale because he was made in your image and you apparently love bbq too much.

Actually, is that pink or red? I can't tell on my phone.

Love it! I live for a pink statement piece.

I'd love to see it. Pics?

This is all to say: wear the cowboy hat or the fedora or the battle vest or the tie-dye shirt or the kilt or the lace up boots or the WWII style bomber jacket or the weird glasses that you love.

Life without added flavor text on your gear is a prison and you deserve more. 🤙

There's this prevailing view in men's fashion that anything outside the most mainstream and safe clothing choice is stupid/lame/dumb and you will be mocked and dorky.

And that advice will lead you to have a boring, safe, normal life which is the worst curse I could possibly wish on anyone.

This better not awaken anything in me. 😐

Reddit comment that says "A hat of any kind is a very tricky line to walk. Generally, a hat should be removed when you meet someone, then left off for the rest of your life." which is MEAN.

CHURLISH!

A game on my Steam wishlist is on sale so instead of $69.99 it's $54.99.

Steam. GTFO of here with that shit. I KNOW you can do 90% off, quit playing around. You've set a PRECENDENT.

Nothing as satisfying as completing yard work. Just did my front and side yards. Found a leaking pipe outside the house so I messaged my landlord who is currently in Guam. Well shit.

It’s very hard to keep getting cooler and sexier year after year, and that’s why I won’t do it

One person CAN make a difference. 🫶🏻

(Unwraps Valentine's Day gift)

It's perfect, you shouldn't have! 😍

So good! Says two tough guys on Isekai Izakaya.

Hell no, I didn't say come over and watch MMA, I said come over and watch anime!

Now sit down because we're bingeing Uncle from Another World and then Isekai Izakaya.

Grey cat with pile of food.

And, of course, Bruce.

To the gift giver:

Every morning, the black kitties swarm in and demand the food. We have Himsberry, Bob, Tammy-Fae Jean-Bennet, Curly-Q, Cigaretta Jones, and Earl.

This is my wife; I'll let her know she has a new bestie.

I had wild boozy dreams last night that two teenagers were harassing me in my front yard and I poured lemonade on one of them who was trying to destroy my wind chime.

That's it, I'm officially an old man.

a man is doing a trick on a motorcycle on a road . Alt: a man is doing a trick on a motorcycle on a road .

Whoop-whoop! Can't find my favorite motorcycle GIF but this will do....

🫶🏻

Every night before bed I say a simple prayer:

If I should die before I wake, I hope some people will be fucking pissed, l hope it transcends being sad and someone kicks a trashcan across a room and yells "GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!" and flips over a table while thinking of me. Amen. 😎🙏🏻

I'm posting way more now that I have gotten rid of all the really shitty people who were clogging up my feeds.

Sorry.

I bought 3 of those I-used-to-be-punk-but-now-my-hairline-has-receded-too-much-to-ignore Boston Scally hats in one order and that qualifies me as an ultra-supreme customer level who will only see ads for flat caps and electric unicycles for the next 50 years.

My bike when I was a kid was called a Huffy; of course you had to keep glue and solvents away from me.

Me: Would you hit me in the face with a crowbar for $100k?

Wife: I'd never stop hitting you in the face with a crowbar...

Me: Dang, girl...

Wife: ...for half that much.

Me: ...

Wif: Am I limited to the crowbar?

I love the clap + wind-up, like he could not have telegraphed that punch more. Beautiful.

I love this in a really strong coffee in the morning.

He looks like a henchman for a golf themed villain. If he opened his mouth he'd have golf tees instead of teeth.