BEAVE

[Skeeting incredibly mediocre opinions while almost all of North America is asleep and getting no engagement]

"Bluesky is dying."

Google is free, clown

Except when you ask me to do it. Then you pay me $4

People keep talking about if Bluesky is “relevant” or if it has reach or whatever, I don’t care I’m here to have fun, do what u want

I want you to nibble my toes in the bath like a fish

I kinda wanna roll around in a giant bowl of noodles.

one can never truly learn how to crash out without first learning how to crash within

sexting you one handed because, y'know

(eating pizza)

some of my skeets would be absolute bangers if all of you were as high as I was when I posted them
I just know it

Perry Bible Fellowship note passing meme Top panel: student at desk turns to student behind and says "bluesky is dying" Middle panel: student behind passes note Bottom panel: front student frowns as he holds the note which reads "post good"

I’m a greedy little pizza slut.

Heck yes, Queen!

Lady and the Tramp a hot dog with me

I load a dish washing machine the same way I load a sex partner; with my dick.

IKEA is just LEGO with consequences

Beaver sauvage.

If a man can remember your eyes after a first date…you didn’t show enough cleavage.

If a woman can remember your dick after a first date… your bank account wasn’t big enough.

That's not an speaking engagement. You were at therapy.

they should make a real life that is more like online

How long does it take a Happy Meal to start working?

What’s my secret? Bangs, Botox, and a firm commitment to being a problem.

Sorry your BF thinks “labia majora” is a constellation.

i'm not sure if i've ever been right back when i said brb but no one really knows if that's when the aliens abduct me

My doctor said I need to reduce stress, so I’ve stopped acknowledging any problem that isn’t on fire.

i love the internet because instead of watching the news i can learn about the horrors in joke format

She lit up a room, like a flashbang grenade.

I need some answers that a Reddit thread from four years ago may not have right now

They should invent an empathy for men

Some days the world mutes you.

id sleep with literally anyone right now over the age of twenty one. and by sleep, i mean sleep. im exhausted.