Speetsy

I haven’t blueskeeted in weeks

23.05.2025 04:59 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

Nothing gets me fired up like the Big Swiffer at basketball games. They should unionize.

29.03.2025 19:49 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

Every day I forget this app exists

26.03.2025 02:57 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

In high school, someone kept stealing wallets during various band and choir concerts. Had I worked for our paper, the headlines would’ve read, “The BANDit aCHOIRs More Money.”

09.03.2025 01:03 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

Grateful for the lack of lizards in my daily life 🙏

01.03.2025 05:54 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

Me tonight

26.02.2025 05:21 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

#stunts

18.02.2025 06:44 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

Real ones walk backwards when listening to Coldplay’s “The Scientist”

12.02.2025 00:40 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

I forget this app exists all the time

06.02.2025 03:56 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

Learning the Canadian national anthem for funsies.

01.02.2025 21:03 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

January 2025 is the longest year of my life

31.01.2025 23:22 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

Boom boom pow that chicken’s jocking my style or some 2012 shit

05.12.2024 00:12 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

Improvised a Thanksgiving musical in my Instagram stories. You’re welcome.

28.11.2024 21:38 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

So let me get this straight.

If you apply for a job at a grocery store, you have to undergo a background check.

But, if you apply to be Director of National Intelligence, you don't?

Got it.

25.11.2024 21:59 — 👍 58778    🔁 11377    💬 1605    📌 466

Disgusting country

25.11.2024 22:59 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

At least we’ll always have the moon

21.11.2024 19:34 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

I hope Apple TV+ never decides to stop making incredibly expensive tv shows that make no money

19.11.2024 15:29 — 👍 8141    🔁 400    💬 230    📌 88

Happy World War III Eve!

20.11.2024 19:02 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

My mom showed me her newest purchase last night: the Wicked original cast recording on vinyl and she’s like “how do you know all the songs” as if I didn’t have that CD on repeat in her house for years.

15.11.2024 18:08 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

I’m so bad at drawing cats. It’s like I’ve never seen one in my life.

15.11.2024 07:24 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

2nd twitter

15.11.2024 03:23 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

Thank god we at least get to have Christmas before the apocalypse.

15.11.2024 02:57 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

“I’m too sexy for my shirt”

15.11.2024 02:52 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

Sharon Horgan is a real queen for including Agnes Obel in “Bad Sisters” season 2.

15.11.2024 02:49 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

Schubert, grey and white havanese, smiling in an orange shopping cart at Home Depot

Grandpa havanese, Schubert, laying on the couch smiling wearing a blue belly band.

Schubert standing on a ledge on some tulips

Schubert wanting belly rubs showing his tummy on the bed

My son

15.11.2024 02:43 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0