And George Wendt

sure sex is great but have you tried watching Zohran Mamdani's victory speech exactly two minutes after learning on Wikipedia that he's an only child

first half of a short nbc news article headline: Earle-Sears says she left a voicemail wishing Spanberger success byline: Megan Lebowitz body: Earle-Sears thanked supporters in her concession speech and said she called Spanberger. "I left her a voicemail, and I asked her to please consider all of us Virginians, that she will represent all of us and not just some of us," Earle-Sears said. Earle-Sears added that she "wished her success."

first half of an nbc news article headline: In concession speech, Sliwa says he won't leave New York City byline: Zoë Richards and Eleanor Skelly body: Sliwa conceded tonight and vowed to stay in New York and "fight for what we know is right." "We’re not leaving to Florida or Georgia or North Carolina or South Carolina, Texas or Tennessee. We stay. We fight for what we know is right,” Sliwa said. “We will hold the mayor-elect to make sure that he serves all the people and that socialism does not replace capitalism,” he added.

short nbc news article headline: Jason Miyares says he wishes Jay Jones 'the best' byline: Megan Lebowitz body: Virginia Attorney General Jason Miyares said in his concession speech that he wishes Jay Jones "the best in this new job." "I know, given the circumstances of last six weeks, many of my supporters will find that difficult," he said, appearing to refer to Jones' text scandal. "The reason I wish Jay the best is because we, the people of Virginia, need it. We need an attorney general who will focus every day on keeping us safe." He urged Democrats to remember as they govern that "politics is like a pendulum: Public sentiment swings one way and the next."

short nbc news article headline: Jack Ciattarelli concedes N.J. governor's race to Mikie Sherrill byline: Zoë Richards body: Ciattarelli delivered a concession speech tonight after Sherrill was projected as the winner. Ciattarelli said that before he delivered his remarks, he called Sherrill, congratulated her on her victory "and gave her my very best wishes." "I haven’t stopped believing because of the outcome of tonight’s election," he said. "It is my hope that Mikie Sherrill has heard us, in terms of what we need to do to make New Jersey that place where everybody can once again feel they can achieve their American dream," he added. Ciattarelli was met by cheers of "Thank you, Jack!" from supporters.

when republicans win: we will crush the democrats, they are the enemy within, leftists and dei and trans people will be mandated out of existence

when republicans lose: don't forget to be a leader for everyone, don't dare do anything significant against us because we'll be back

i sense a pattern.

Put the pronouns back in the email

2026 Primary Woke Wave

Screenshot from MST3k episode "Girl in Gold Boots" where Mike is tying a noose around his neck and Crow is flipping out with his eyes rolled back in his head.

checking in on Bill Ackman and Alan Dershowitz

Will I watch this? No. Will I eagerly seek out clips of Ben Shapiro crashing out over tonight's results? Yes.

every Democrat needs to be at least this much of a hater from now on. this is the energy we need. haters are democracy's strongest warriors

I mean honestly the "unrealistic housing plans" bit is the whole ballgame here. I'm assuming Jill is a single issue voter and that issue is "no tall buildings in my neighborhood"

"yes he's a sex pest who killed thousands of old people. but his opponent is young and has unrealistic housing plans, which is obviously much worse"

when Ed Wood asks him what's the one thing you can put in a movie that will make anyone like it and he just barks "Tits!" is an all time banger of a line reading. one of the best

I do not like receiving phone calls at 3:00am but I don't know if that rises to the level of "living hell" for me personally. maybe I'm just built different

do you think this riff made it to broadcast because the censors had zoned out and quit paying attention by this point in the movie? because I do. I think that.

there are a lot of MST3k lines that live rent free in my head but this one is easily in the top five

squinting at a frame by frame of the alley the car is parked in to see if I recognize it as a studio backlot. is that the alley Frasier and Niles wind up in when they take a wrong turn coming out of the spa? I'm going to spend my whole afternoon trying to find out

Kendall Roy

"It's crazy motivating, because I'll tell you why the short sellers are constantly getting screwed by Palantir: because every time they short us, we just are, like, tripling down on getting the better numbers, and part, honestly, to make them poorer"

the media won't report on it but I heard this is actually how Dick Cheney died

trump wins because he honestly and transparently tells you what he sincerely believes: the entire system is corrupt. i am corrupt. by definition i will punish my enemies and reward myself and my friends and this will be a great spectacle and profitable for those who are my friends. be my friend

Kramer telling George "often I sit and yearn."

people investigating this heist must be finding so many audio journals in the air vents at the Louvre

Californians: if you're upset about this, just remember that your senator, @schiff.senate.gov, voted to confirm Sean Duffy as Secretary of Transportation.

pressing R3 to enter detective mode so I can sense how many people nearby are having orgasms

"Donald Trump, who demands total cultlike devotion from his followers, has the support of 86% of the GOP; it is unclear if this is good for Democrats"

“I was watching the baseball game” Interesting. I was contemplating solutions to the great global challenges of the 21st century. But your game sounds nice too 🤷‍♂️

I think this is bad but also every time I read about some new dystopian partnership between ICE and the private sector all I can think about is how much of that $75 billion they got is going to trickle away into shell companies and LLCs, never to be seen again

hi, it's me, a lifelong Republican who has spent the last 30 years mocking and denigrating people who receive SNAP benefits. I am shocked and saddened that the Democrats are preventing us from doing the important work of delivering SNAP benefits

I wonder how many Blackwater goons already quit to join ICE for the $50,000 signup bonus. and how many of them got bounced out because they couldn't pass the entrance exam. are America's private and public goon squads just passing the same pool of barely-qualified goons back and forth forever?

I think most billionaires are going to say "OK, I had a great deal from 1980 to 2028, but now it's back to business as usual, and I should be paying a 70% marginal income tax rate."