nat

🥺 thank you very much :))))))

Four comedians standing on a stage lit by purple light. (One of which is me, wearing a green shirt, green jumper and black trousers)

I just won the north east new act of the year award! And yes I’m absolutely only posting about this because this is the tallest I’ve ever looked in a photo.

Dear all comedians who write notes on their hands,
If you ask to borrow a pen from me, please don’t proceed to clog up the silky smooth ball-point of my sexy (£1.80) ultrafine uniball pen with your skin oils and debris.
The lack of respectable penmanship etiquette is truly abysmal these days.
Smh.

That is very interesting. Cheese lore is always welcome 😌

😂
I go past the primula cheese factory in the car every week (it’s the only primula cheese factory in the world !!) and it’s like seeing the Disneyland castle every single time 😌

I’d love to go on a road trip where I’d visit all the locations that cheeses are named after.
I think I’d be most excited for Leicester, Wensleydale, and my favourite region,, Dairylea Triangle.
I’ve heard that ships and planes often disappear under mysterious circumstances in Dairylea Triangle.

a stuffed monkey is sitting in front of a camera in a dark room ALT: a stuffed monkey is sitting in front of a camera in a dark room

This fella comes to mind..

I get that I'd probably benefit from multiple monitors but sitting at a desk hurts and I'd rather wait until they invent paper-like (kindle-ish?) monitors that I can pile up and shuffle around.

I think one of the worst things about getting older is that there's less work to do on paper and more work to do on the computer which (as someone with very poor object permanence) is pretty miserable because my motivation completely vanishes when my task is hidden behind 10 other open tabs.

probably not! :D

While this was going on, I was also a watch salesmen selling watches with 8 faces at a Chappell Roan concert. Except Chappell Roan wasn’t there because she had been replaced by a tank of sentient jellyfish communicating with the audience via a giant iPad.

I just woke up from a dream in which I was a journalist hired by Kris Jenner to write a piece about her facelift. The research involved a 4 hour interview with a capuchin monkey in a suit (he was the surgeon). Long story short, I asked too many insightful questions so he bit me and gave me rabies.

Old man from audience: I think you were too highbrow for this lot (football club audience) but me and my pal are academics and we loved it. He’s a doctor and I’m an undertaker.

Can I get this framed?

Sorry but this was worth more than two likes 😔
(Sincerely, someone who just returned from being the only female comic at a gig).

Brought to you by: currently gigging at a sports club full of bald heads.

Female stand-up comedian who is also a dyslexic cat: yeah it’s hard being the only feline on a maleup. But that’s the world we live in I guess.

Can someone please confirm what this big glowing orb is? Is it meant to be there?

Forced myself to leave the house last night and go to an open mic just to watch but then someone dropped out and I ended up doing a set anyway! And it didn't cure my brain but it did remind me that there are some things that are maybe perhaps good :))

Where’s my phone? -Mitski

(Must stop using 2am doodling as a coping mechanism 😔)

Unicycles have let themselves go.

that's very silly but thank you 💚

I'd be filled with rage at the very least.

Thank you 🫂

title o

I applaud anyone with the guts to lick it off.

I'm mostly confused about how you can get this much pizza debris on one pizza cutter? How thick was this pizza? This person has left half the pizza on the pizza cutter and it's not okay.

I’m absolutely unhinged.

The brain has been at an all time low lately.
So obviously I’ve spent my evening watching all the shrek movies back to back- as was prescribed to hysterical women in olden times.

It’s a trial and error treatment process involving shrek 1,2,3, and 4, and then (ultimately) a lobotomy.

I am honoured to be considered worthy of a trivia post 🫡

I can only hope to keep coming back to haunt you every year with longer and longer sets until I have my debut 24hr show (watson style).

You were incredibly funny tn 🫡 . I might start putting a hat on my computer in solidarity.