nat

I think it’s horrible that chickens are overfed/fed awful things so that they taste better or have a more desirable texture.
Like,,, just think how much garlic purée they must have to feed the ones that turn into kievs.

Sorry.

Correction: mops and cucumber spirallizers.

I’m generally quite a big hater of movie theatres, which is why I satisfy my cravings for televised media by watching the TV in Asda’s homeware section that’s been cycling through the same 5 mop adverts since 2004.

Sometimes I transfer money from my bank to my own PayPal account in the middle of the night so I forget about it, then get a release of dopamine the next time I check the app. Shortly followed by disappointment but I think that’s generally the order of things anyway.
Just good to feel something.

I’m friends with a lovely couple of seals but their marriage is on the rocks. So is the reception. And the afterparty.
It’s going to be a very cold, hard, damp wedding.

Wordle 1,600 1/6

🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

I may need to be exorcised.

I walked a mile in someone else’s shoes. It was a very long bowling alley.

Theres a new pope in town. Or something idk.

They tested this by hiring volunteers to sniff the amniotic fluid of various women with varying levels of garlic-intense diets. We’re so weird.

I just learned that if you’re pregnant and eat a lot of garlic, it makes your amniotic fluid smell and taste like garlic. So your baby just floats around in a garlic soup for nine months straight with no escape.

A hand sewn stuffed green owl. He has long legs and looks like he is either very tired or very high.

You’ve heard of Duo Lingo, but I found Uno Longo.

This is very interesting! Very fascinated by how big October is 🎃

Sorry the numbers are blurred, you’ll have to zoom in 😔

Maybe I’m just a bit silly in the head but pls let me know if you also see time like this. I’ve been trying to explain it but I can only describe it with a drawing - this is exactly what a day is to me. This just feels so much more right than a clock.

Okay never mind I just yawned consistently for an hour straight and it just popped. Thank you earwax gods.

Wordle takes 1min and connections usually takes 2-5mins.
Duotrigordle used to be a 20minute undertaking but I’ve whittled it down to 7-13mins.
I don’t think it eats into your life, I think wordle(+co) is life.

I'm now on my fourth day in a row of getting the wordle in 2. I might actually be a witch.

I went to a facial anatomy museum that was shaped like a human face. The ticket desk was in the left nostril.
I paid through the nose.

It's the nat in the hat, there's no doubt about that.

that is a fantastic hat.

Working at yo sushi gave me a god complex. I constantly felt like everything revolved around me.

Millions sweets

Hundreds and thousands (sprinkles)

I’m no mathematician but I think it’s safe to say that there’s a discrepancy here.

👏 😂

They were really lucky (when naming asbestosis) that asbestos already sounded like a disease.
Because expandifoamosis and polyfilleritis really doesn’t pack the same amount of punch.

How many back and forth emails do I need to exchange before I can stop adding formalities at the beginning and end?

I’ve now told you my name six times in the space of two minutes.

I personally think it’d be more efficient if Sandra from Student Finance England just slid into my dms.

I truly had no doubt in my mind while I was doing this by the way. Not even as I felt the squish of seat cushions beneath my dusty trainers. Zero doubt.

I am completely mortified I’m at a theatre I’ve never been to and for some reason I thought it was just completely unhinged and had no stairs so I just casually used the seats as stairs. Then looked to my right and the stairs are right there. What sort of theatre would have no stairs?!

I can’t keep tolerating this utter geological filth.

Also the visualisers sort of look like the kind of thing I would’ve made on an iPad app when I was 9.

🥺 I wish I could give him all the toilet roll inner tubes in the world.