Todd

(I had to write that all down before I got out of bed to make sure I didn’t forget. This was part of a longer dream featuring NBA players, complex derivatives, and the guy from Das Racist.)

*(I believe I was actually on the east side around 2nd ave in the 50s, so apparently 8th Avenue Kenny is not restricted to his eponymous area)

She asked me if I was on my way. I told her I didn’t know where I was, and she asked if maybe I could take a train somewhere familiar. I got upset and yelled something unintelligible, looking around at the unfamiliar cityscape feeling hopeless.

Google maps was grayed out on my phone, which then rang. I picked it up. It was my mom, who passed away several years ago.

All of the street signs were missing or unintelligible. There were no other pedestrians close to me to ask, and everyone I did see at a distance was walking away from me, backs turned such that I couldn’t see their faces.

When I turned back to walk the way I was going, the layout of the streets had changed. I was now looking at elevated highways. I tried to look at the skyline for a landmark that would lead me across town*, but nothing looked familiar.

He smiled and said “I’m 8th Avenue Kenny”, slapped my lightly on my backpack, and turned around and walked briskly in the other direction. I stop and watched him for a moment.

I fell in step with him and started walking together. I was embarrassed because I didn’t recognize him and felt like I should have. We chit-chatted for 30 seconds, and then I said “I’m sorry, I don’t remember your name.”

8th Avenue Kenny approached me from behind as I had just emerged from the subway and was trying to get my bearings so I could walk across town back to my office. He was walking briskly but greeted me avuncularly, like we knew each other.

He is accompanied by a small, gangly boy who has a mop of brown hair, wire rim glasses, and a mouth full of partially adult partially baby teeth with gaps. He wears shorts and is very shy, holding 8th Ave Kenny’s arm and looking up at him in puzzlement and a little fear. He does not speak to you.

“8th Avenue Kenny” is a stout white man a little over 6 feet tall with closely cropped blond hair running to gray and wire rim glasses. He wears an LL Bean jacket and chinos with a button up.

I woke myself and my wife up this morning by yelling in my sleep because an entity known as “8th Avenue Kenny” had cursed me to become hopelessly lost in Manhattan.

Coworker using Copilot to come up with a name for her walkathon team. Just dire. How many fantasy football teams do you think will be named by AI this year?

Significantly harder pairings than Part 1 of Round 3. I guess I have to double up on Elvin but there’s a few others I also think could need help.

If we stop it here (and get a good song in the finals as a plus), I won’t have to buy a bunch of “Don’t Rank Cuomo” tees and scrawl “BOHO” over Cuomo.

No cheating. Your last saved celebrity photo is your therapist. Who is it?

Black Toyota Prius with the license plate “S4TANIC” (Satanic)

The most kvlt Prius of them all. It’s a hybrid - half gasoline, half damned souls.

+1 for the Richard and Linda bonus club. Every few years I hear a song by them I haven’t heard before and mean to go deeper - I think this time will stick.

What about marshmarrow?

Yes and I get a very creepy looking pattern drawn on my shin because I have one of those seat cushions that’s like a grid.

I felt this way about watching Ocean’s 11 for the first time recently, but at least that one has actual movie stars being movie stars, if not actually acting.

Dentist office waiting room is showing something called The Ultimate Beastmaster that I am getting sucked into despite myself. Thank god we don’t have to subsist on basic cable anymore.

Go back to classics: Minesweeper

I was excited that Dig! XX was on the Criterion Channel but less so when literally the first thing that pops up on screen is Dave Grohl saying “Hi Everyone!”

The league would probably disallow it but
youtu.be/8A8s9gx9pGM?...

Jfc, can he not do shit like this on a summer Friday, I want to get out of work at a decent hour.

Fuck am I going to have to find and buy these dolls now? I don’t want to but

Just fantastic

Fix OMNY. Let us see our fare/ ride histories online ASAP. It feels scammy right now.

Please never use AI for the thesaurus etc like some other useless sites.