Dylan Morrison

i have so many excellent books in my TBR! i'm actively in the middle of listening to 3 different audiobooks in radically different genres! my kindle is full of things to read! and yet here i sit, in a situation where i must wait: time to download classic jim/bones fic switch to reread on my phone

as i wait to be taken back for a blood donation, a little heads up that it is a good time to give blood! there's a shortage and you will be doing a lot of good! they changed that homophobic rule! people need your blood! check to see if there is a drive near you: www.redcrossblood.org/give.html/lo...

but i love it. (cleveland, anyway -- admittedly i am feeling no love for the temps 😂)

here to instead yell non-triggering shit: ICE CREAM! SMALL DOGS WITH BIG PAWS! SOFT RAIN FALLING THROUGH THE LEAVES OF A TREE! YARN!

The "I've had enough of this dude" meme from It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia (Mac, Dennis and Charlie staring at a painting they're approaching to remove from the way, saying "I've had enough of this dude") with the current weather forecast laid over the image inside the picture frame. Said forecast predicts temperatures of 3, 0, 1, and 3 degrees Fahrenheit.

i can't feel my face when i'm with you ("you" being "cleveland ohio for what feels like the last ten thousand years")

I want everyone who has spent years in therapy wondering what is wrong with them, wondering why they had so many bad relationships, why they felt so much dread, to know that it was in part because you were living in a world run by evil, evil people and you could tell that somewhere deep down

as if in punishment for posting this, scrappy doo (whom no one likes) appeared in my dreams last night. the assassination of my peaceful sleep by the coward scrappy doo

brb, painting my hatchback turquoise and calling around to the local shelters for their chattiest and most food-motivated great dane

ME IN 1996: lol, seriously? the plot here is that most obvious suspect was indeed doing the crimes, in a worthlessly bad disguise, and the only people who noticed were queer nerds, a stoner burnout, and a dog? great show, love that theme song, but like. come on
ME IN 2026: ouuuugh accccck auuuuughhh

upsetting to realize after all these years that the narrative which most accurately captures both a) the insipid, painfully obvious nature of true evil and b) the way your average decent person tends to be bamboozled by it... is scooby fucking doo

a reminder for fellow survivors of sexual violence: you do not have to prove anything to anyone, including yourself, on days like this. you need not bear witness to all the ills of the world, especially if doing so makes you relive your own brutal experience of said ills. take care of yourselves 💜

Yellow bellied, yellow faced with black eye stripe, black head and crest, black chin, olive backed, black and white wings and tail, perched on rim of pot, photo.

Tit of the Day:
Himalayan Black-lored Tit
📷 Nitin Chandra

SCHMIDT: i can't believe it took you seven years to agree to watch knives out with me. it's such a great movie!
NICK: hey, i would've done it sooner if you'd just told me the detective sounds like foghorn legcorn.
SCHMIDT: ...who?
NICK: you know, the rooster guy. from looney tunes. foghorn legcorn

“Would your biggest concern about me inflicting a real-life version of The Birds on you *really* be the health code violations?”

"Does Los Angeles maybe have a store called Everything You Would Have Brought In Your Luggage, But Inexplicably Much Cheaper?" (for anyone else who might be wondering, based on extensive research i can safely say the answer to this question is 'absolutely no it does not')

"Selma had clearly made someone in her office print these up special, as they said things like, 'Things Your Friends Will Convince Themselves Have Happened to You' and 'Letting Your Pals Microchip You Like a Dog: It's More Legal Than You Think!'"

okay, did i fall asleep and forget about this for twelve hours? YOU BET. but here we go, let's begin with my favorite joke i've maybe ever written except without the full context that makes it a joke bc the rule is one line, you'll just have to trust me on this one: "Lake Placid is famously a lake."

Bob the dog, a brown and black brindle English Mastiff with chops that have gone white because he's an old man these days 😭 He is in his favorite position: doing an imitation of a slug

omg i would DIE for lucy and her shocking fart betrayals!! i have no dog of my own, VERY TRAGICALLY, but i do have a dog brother (i.e. my parents' dog) who is an english mastiff the size of an actual tiger. his name is bob and he loves everyone and cheeseburgers. cheeseburgers maybe slightly more

oh fun! 1 like=1 random line from something i've written, either in progress or published, until i inevitably get distracted. (with said lines prooooobably starting in the morning haha, as i am seeing this at a time when i should already be asleep 😴)

Nothing can prepare your soul for the first image ever transmitted onto a television

richard osman, who writes the thursday murder club books, talks about how he writes 1,000 words a day and how by doing that he has a first draft of a book in 90 days. that basic math is entirely true and it fully changed my brain chemistry

i can't speak my old (bad) willpower sources lol but i WILL say that my original writing practice has become one of the most consistent things in my life via the following maxim: "try to write for an hour a day, shoot for an achievable wordcount, & whether or not it's good is a problem for later me"

yeah in my case 'unmedicated and unmanaged ADHD that you don't know you have' turns out to be a hell of a drug 😂 and i also feel like inception was a particularly potent fan playground? the nature of that canon was the perfect combo of structure and freedom to screw around, really Unlocked something

at least one of them rewards the natural human impulse of looking at james franco and thinking "wow, i bet that guy is going to make a Bad Mistake"

YOU AND ME BOTH TBH, i look at some of those fics and i'm like "where did this come from. i was 22 when i wrote this, what the hell did i know about any of this stuff i was writing" and yet... and yet

i'm sure this is correct but i don't like it haha. i'd even take a spinoff or prequel over their dragging that story back open when the door was so neatly shut -- like, i'd watch brett goldstein watch paint dry, just give me 10 hours of roy kent attempting to live his life

honestly i feel like i'm watching an asteroid approaching my house at 3 miles an hour and frantically trying to get my affairs in order so i'm ready when it pancakes me 😂

Memed version of the scene in Parks & Rec where Jean-Ralphio sings "R to O to N and Swanson's got the swagger the size of Big Ben... clock," because he habitually cannot figure out the appropriate place to end the rhyme

this is how i found out they're making more ted lasso and i don't understand. smacks of (apologies for terrible meme quality but i am too lazy to dig around or pull together a better one)

SHAGGY: what did the vet say you have

SCOOBY DOO: rabies

SHAGGY: zoinks i didn’t even know you could get pregnant

i need to get into this series (at this point, mostly what's delaying me is wanting to finish my current book MS before it uhhh consumes my life), but i told a cis straight family member this was a thing bc hockey fandom was also a thing and he gasped "what??? really??? like MY hockey??" hilarious