The Kates of Hell

Breakfast of champions

Let's take a look at the leaderboard. AWOOGA!

I for one did not see this coming

Literally me rn

Just the one..?

Bukkake buns anyone?

It's not official til the parmo card lands 😁

What am I for if not as a meme depository

Sir Tom Fucking Jones baby!

Dead nonce
Dead nonce
He's a dead nonce
He used to be well famous but now someone's stabbed him in the bonce

Shame about Ian Watkins. Not about what happened to him, but that he ever existed at all.

Luckily I don't have a comic book run to be pulled

Hope the shiv's ok

See, bad people do die horribly sometimes.

Please do not get too excited that a convicted nonce has been killed or the Bluesky mods will ban you for being mean.

But the sheep are better company than half the humans round here 👀

sheep do not follow instruction. sheep will appear where you least expect them. sheep will overcome even the greatest of fences if there's a slight chance to Eat Some More Grass

i never understood the "sheeple" thing as blinding following, bc i live in the countryside in a village literally named after sheep, and let me tell you them bitches do whatever they want

Today's Amazon delivery safe space

Imagine if they used the doorbell tho

Tom Hollander, A Life in the Day: I wake up generally at 3 or 4am. Not because I'm like Margaret Thatcher, but because I need to pee. I pee in the darkness using my phone screen to illuminate the target, then often take half a sleeping pill ... Sometime between 6 and 8 I wake again, turn up the Today programme gently. If my girlfriend is there we hold each other in different positions. If she isn't I wrap my arms around a pillow and continue listening to the bad news. Whoever gets up first will go downstairs and start baking porridge. ... It takes about 40 minutes to cook and we eat it in such large quantities with olive oil and salt that we negate any nutritional benefits. But we enjoy it. And while it's cooking it gives us time to look at our phones. Sometimes in this waiting period I try to do three slow sun salutations to stretch myself out, but often I don't. I brew the first of many coffees. ... Owing to forces beyond my control, life has not been as busy as it used to be. … I look at myself in the mirror and try to see what others see. Examine my bald patch, weigh myself and pull my stomach in. Then let it out. Then pull it in again. If I'm feeling positive I might get dressed at this point and go for my second coffee on the street below. I've lived in the same flat for 20 years and one of the rewards for this loyalty is that I know all the shopkeepers and stallholders on the street, for whom I have become like a piece of the old furniture they sell. Hello Glen, hello Kris, Ghino! … Then take it home and leave it on the sideboard with any post that has arrived from my stalker. Then I might call my agent. "Isn't she? No, no, nothing important... just checking in..." Soon it's time for my midmorning nap. Followed by the preparation of lunch, which I start at 12.15pm. … If it's sunny I might go for a cycle ride down the canal, ifit's raining I might masturbate and doze, or speculate on the extraordinary injustice of Philip Green's knighthood…

Ah, 4 October! Happy fifth birthday to this marvellous thing…

Not only an absolute icon, but the character of Kitty was the inspiration for the character of Julia Hartley-Brewer

I am nothing but consistent on this app

But I still remain consistent on grandma deserving to die for being a selfish bag

First mince pie of the season lads

And zero fucks

I get that the news cycle is packed right now, but I just heard from a colleague at the Smithsonian that this is fully a GIANT SQUID BEING EATEN BY A SPERM WHALE and it’s possibly the first ever confirmed video according to a friend at NOAA

10 YEAR OLD ME IS LOSING HER MIND (a thread 🧵)

Convince friends and family that you are a deep space explorer by surrounding yourself with faux fur bobbles

If any of you are at the national county show at hylands park

Watch out for the dinosaurs

And their wrangler

Who is crisp rat aka the eldest

If you see him

He might set a raptor on you

RIP Charlie Kirk, you would have loved politicizing the shooting of Charlie Kirk.

It is weird that the assassination of essentially a celebrity influencer is a bigger deal than the shooting of two top state legislators + their spouses