SCOM

heard my doctor was coming round the mountain

😎

YOU

ah sweet! that’s helpful!

Spy vs Spy but they’re in love

that’s what Steve said

SNL. writer’s room. this week’s host is Blip Grizzly and Jojo Siward. sitting behind my laptop working on a sketch about an airline service for dogs called Air Bud. i keep trying to shoehorn Dr. Baby sketches into the show and plug my novel (Cookie Detective.) Lorne is pissed. Steve Martin is here

that was my grandmother’s name 🥹

da big apple! if you can make it
here you can make it anywhere!

that’s moles

moles is scared of gettin’ whacked

that’s helpful!

Courage the Cowardly Dog and his owner Eustace Bagge going OOGA! BOOGA! BOOGA!

thank you @crabman.bsky.social

i don’t understand morals, ethics,
or even film - so i refuse to root for
anybody in a movie ‘til you tell me to

where is elijah and the rock creature?

the future is so cool. i tried to order
an I SPY book online and Amazon
said they’d get it shipped overnight
if i tell ‘em what my blood type is

the grainiest picture of a UFO
that looks like a fuckin’ jellybean

SIT IN THE COURT AND BE
THEIR OWN STAR WITNESS

Megas XLR

[using the dumb pet translator AI]

me: alright, go ahead give it a go!

🐟: …?

📱: uhh

🐟: …

📱: networking

me: what’d you mean?

🐟: …?

📱: networking?

me: yeah, why?

🐟: …!

📱: then get me out of here with it!

when i was a kid my mom would
take off from work and say that she
had won the ‘Go Home Early Game.’
so i spent the entirety of my career
asking managers and team leads if
we could play Go Home Early Game,
and it’s become the closest thing to
religion that i can ponder down here

get his ass

more like 9-figure BUTTget

at the supermarket acknowledging prime cuts. hello rib eye, you are seen. tenderloin? namaste, i feel you. really. hey rib rack, looking good brother! ohhh, new york strip? better than old york strip, y'know what i'm saying haha up top big fella. i will piece you together and build a new husband,

and drowning too

rats are afraid of spiders, spiders is
afraid of ghost, and ghostes is afraid
of rats. that’s how science is, baby

heard your bitch was coming round the mountain

i would sooner build a rocket ship
and fly to mars instead of chroma
key a scene in outer fuckin’ space

playing 4D chess, i swear