Clum

If you're ever in the possession of a good tin opener. Treasure those moments because when it's gone. Its never the same again.

Wednesday: Too late to ask about thr weekend gone. Too soon to ask about the weekend to come.

The office falls silent.

My fiancee walked in on me watching Guns Akimbo, so I quickly switched over to pornography because it was less embarrassing.

'What's the point of Letterboxd?' I ask, as I log the new Frankenstein as three stars.

The best part of Del Toro's Frankenstein is recognising stong but less famous actors from different projects in small roles. "Oh it's that guy, from that thing." "Who's that again, oh yes!"

My gerbils when I visit and don't offer them a pumpkin seed.

Official animal rankings:
1.) Beaver
2.) Opossum
3.) Racoon
4.) Rat
5.) Those little monkeys with the big tash.

The person who came up with the idea of putting a little bit of sticky tape on the bottom of wrapping paper rolls is a bastard.

Owing the libs by running out of time on the Crystal Maze (I was unable to make enough triangles out of oversized matchsticks).

Make sure to ask for first pressing engine oil.

Alien: Romulus answers the age-old question. What if we combined the first four Alien films into one?

The world is my oyster, but I don't like oysters 😎.

Honestly, everyone should watch The Simpsons while drunk. It's a phenomenal experience. Light chuckles turn to wails of laughter.

Pro life tip: In your essays, just describe everything as Nietzschian. Nobody knows what that crazy lil fucker was on about anyways.

And thus begins the last evening in my twenties.

Best part of Bullseye were the contestants. It took real talent and dedication from the casting team to find the least charismatic people 1980s / 90s Britain.

It's nice to see buildings being used rather than just abandoned, looking at you [where I live].

Honestly, you walk down whole streets where every building is, in some way, used by the uni.

In conclusion, after my recent adventures in Durham: the city is basically run by the university like some kind of education mafia (in a good way). No abandoned buildings falling into ruin. If a shop closes, the uni swoops in like Henry Hill looking for a new front, turning it into a lecture hall.

BOOM! First draft is done. Now, to spend the next few years of my life trying to make it good.

Started watching The Sopranos the other day. Near the end of season one, and I swear New Jersey looks exactly like that one grim bit of Gateshead I got lost in while trying to find IKEA.

The best part of late January? Watching seasonal depression pack its bags and yeet itself back into the abyss where it belongs!

Nothing beats the joy of editing only to discover you wrote pure nonsense while riding the sugar high of offbrand cola. Truly, the muse we deserve.

The most disheartening, gut-wrenching, and soul destroying feeling is when you're assembling flat pack, and you've just finished a really large and difficult bit, and, then you notice the little 'x2' in the corner of the instruction page.

This time of the year (between Christmas and New Year) is magical. No work, no pressure, no expectations, just pure relaxation, recovery, bliss, and chocolate.

More4 is currently playing Saving Private Ryan. That classic Christmas film.

The scene where they storm the beach is very reminiscent of the true meaning of Christmas.

At our end of year staff briefing, the leadership team made us sing our OFSTED feedback to the tune of Jingle Bells.

Once again.

#music

He can't keep getting away with it! (His elite music taste)

First half of the week = the final push (pls do the work).

Second half = quizzes and films.